I was going to be a vet. I was going to eat chips everyday, even before dinner. I wasn’t going to have sex until I was married. I was never going to drink and drive. I was going to marry Mark, my first boyfriend. I was going to move back to Colorado even if I had to live in a cardboard box. I was going to run away from home, never to return again. I was going to marry Chris, my next serious boyfriend. I was going to finish college. I was going to marry Mario. I was going to change Mario. I was “just friends with Eric” and it was going to stay that way. I was going to pay my parents back for the car they bought me in 1995. I was going to own and proudly drive a green Del Sol.
Clearly all that is just a load of bullshit and I realize that now. I’ve been forced to realize that the promises you make to your self about your life just don’t always come true. For example: I’m not a veterinarian for several reasons. The first being that I realized in the 8th grade, in my Life Science class, that I really don’t like Science. I got a D in that class. Secondly I did NOT finish college - not even close. And last but not least I don’t really like all animals. In fact I really hate some of them. Yes, thank GOD I’m not a vet.
1. I wasn’t going to have sex until I was married. (Surrendered prom night with #3)
2. I was going to eat chips everyday, even before dinner. (I was 6 when I said this to my mother and therefore had no concept of the fully developed female ass.)
3. I was never going to drink and drive. (Arrested for DUI, Open container in the car, & underage drinking on July 17th, 1998.)
4. I was going to marry Mark, my first boyfriend. (He married a Catholic College Cheerleader & virgin)
5. I was going to move back to Colorado even if I had to live in a cardboard box. (I met #6 and decided to stay in Cali.)
6. I was going to run away from home, never to return again. (I did run away but I also returned.)
7. I was going to marry Chris, my next serious boyfriend. (He is now a crack head.)
8. I was going to finish college. (…I’m still working on this one.)
9. I was going to marry Mario. (…cheater cheater pumpkin eater)
10. I was going to change Mario. (People don’t change)
11. I was “just friends with Eric” and it was going to stay that way. (I was in love denialn.)
12. I was going to pay my parents back for the car they bought me in 1995. (….but then I didn’t.)
13. I was going to own and proudly drive a green Del Sol NO MATTER WHAT! (That is one ugly ass car!)
14. I was going to be a Christian. (I couldn’t pull this one off. I tried but I’m not the type.)
So it’s quite clear that lessons have been learned in my life through these broken promises. But that only makes me think of all the conceptions I have now of my life years from now – and how wrong it might be…..SCARY! I just have this sneaking suspicion that I’m not going to get that convertible I promised myself.
posted by Jessiedc28 @ 1:05 AM
2 Comments:
I think every day we change. No matter what, we change. We may see a commercial and decide that, hey, that 80's hair style really isn't that bad....if your paris or ashley simpson. No matter what, you are going to change your mind, your thoughts, your opinions every day. That is the great thing about being a grow-up. I wouldn't look at those things as wild hairs up your ass, but more of a scrap book of ways that you have grown and ways that sometimes, "God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers". Yeah, that was uber cheesy, but hey, when in doubt, quote a country song!
Smooches from the Pooches!
I could really relate to this post!! That's why I always say I like to make my own rules and then break them, or at least, bend them.
Hell, at 19 I wanted to marry a guy who was already married and had a kid!!! My dad told me he would not be the last guy I dated. I REFUSED to believe him! So what happened? When did I actually end up getting married? At 29, almost 30, a full decade later, and when I had my marbles together a bit more!!! Our ideas definitely change over time...
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