Back In The Bathroom
There are a few things that I'm not good at, and I'm ashamed. Well - I'm sometimes ashamed. I have a problem with paying attention to detail and I'm actually only ashamed when my lack of attention to detail causes me to be punished. For Example: Last year I got a ticket because I didn't get my emissions done on time and therefore didn't have an up to date sticker on my car. This wasn't intentional - not at all. I wasn't intentionally not getting my cars emissions test completed. I just didn't pay attention to the date due on the sticker.Today I ran in to yet another classic example of my problem with attention to detail, whilst in the ladies room. I confess I've just never been one of those chicks to take the time to squat over the toilet seat in public restrooms, or to neatly place the slabs of tissue paper all around the seat, or even easier, to pull the precut tracing paper toilet seat cover out of the dispenser and lay it down on the seat. Call it lazy! Call it irresponsible! I call it being a fast paced chick that just does not have time for these germ-fighting formalities. I know...I know ....I can hear your gasps now ....."GROSS!"...... "GERMS!" ...."BACTERIA"...but I'm also NEVER sick, I have NO ALLERGIES, and I attribute that to my fearless ability to come face to face with the dirty little bastards we call germs. (I used to eat previously chewed gum off the underside of the jungle gym at the playground when I was 5 too...disgusting..perhaps .. but the next time you have a cold, and your nose is all crusty and sore, you'll think of me and wish you'd done the same. I also don't wash apples before I eat them - so ha!.)
After two cups of my morning coffee I had to pee. Badly. I grabbed my keys to the ladies room, went in to the first stall available, yanked down my jeans and sat down to relieve myself. (Here comes the attention to detail part....)I did not realize until I stood up that the person who had peed there before me pissed all over the seat. It was either a 5-year-old little boy still working on his aim, or a squatter. Squatters are the type that pee in public restrooms by putting their feet shoulder width apart & bend at the knees until their butt is only a few inches from the seat, all in an effort to protect their bottoms from being germed. (I'm not a good squatter. I'm not so bad in a tiny bathroom as long as I can hold on to the wall, otherwise I tip over. And if I'm drunk - FORGET IT!) Now if you're going to be one of those germaphobes who squat, even when there's that precut tracing paper stuff hanging out of a dispenser next to you, AT LEAST WIPE OFF YOUR PEE WHEN YOU'RE DONE. THAT is lazy. THAT is gross. THOSE are your puddles of germs I just sat in! I take full responsibility for having trouble with detail and not looking before I sat my germ accepting ass down on that seat, but it's just plain rude to leave your piss puddle on the toilet seat.
**I do squat over the seat or use the toilet paper slab technique, in port-a-potties, filthy mall bathrooms, or any other bathroom that seemingly requires biohazard gear.
***One of the grossest bathrooms I ever pee'd in was in Barstow, California, at a park. Don't ask!
posted by Jessiedc28 @ 2:18 AM
6 Comments:
Don't forget that you used to pick up cigarettes out of the ashtrays in front of stores and smoke them!!! I'm the same way, and I hardly ever get sick. I never boiled Gabby's water and bottles and stuff when she was a baby, and she hardly ever gets sick either. All these germaphobia people are not letting their bodies do their jobs!!!
lol i'm the same way. I don't have time to try to pull the paper out of the dispenser, it rips, tears and I end up with pieces and then I am irritated. The other day I was in such a hurry that I ran into the stall, shut the door, pulled em down and sat... only to find out that the seat was up because the cleaning people did not put the f'er down!! I almost fell in!!! hahaha :)
I have to make a judgement call, probably because I saw wayyyy tooo many nasty fraternity bathrooms. I guess I make a decision based on how clean they look and where I am.
That last comment comes from a WOMAN that I have seen STAND and pee in a fraternity toilet. STAND and pee. It's impressive.
Yes, Yes, one of my only talents.
did you know they did a study and found that the first toilet or the one closest to the door is statistically least germy. Because people generally don't want to use the potty closest to the door.
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