All I want from Christmas is a shorter toe...
This was me two years ago. Ok foot fetish weirdos - not REALLY me - but that is basically what my feet looked like before and after my bunion surgery.
My feet are, needless to say, looking and feeling much better since this surgery. I can even wear a smaller shoe size believe it or not. The problem is my second toe, or pointer toe if you will, is much longer then my big toe. It was always a tad longer, but the bunion surgery actually shortens your big toe a little thus making my pointer toe stick out more then usual. Like so (Food fetish weirdos - you chime in here):
Over the last week I've been working on the house and whatnot so this has been a very active toe. It's been stepped on numerous times. Stubbed. I got it stuck in the louvered doors a few weeks back trying to pull off a high kick closet closing technique. But now I'm starting to see a very disturbing formation. A callus is forming at the very tip of my long pointer toe.
I get pedicures! (Ok not recently...)em>
I am semi-cute regardless of my hideous feet!
I don't want a worker-toe!
I don't deserve any uglier feet then the huge, scarred, leaning-toe feet that I already have!! ...........
So I decided to research a toe-shortening surgery. Please see the example below:
This woman has a good example of a longer pointer-toe along with some other podiatry related issues that THANK GOD are not in my scope of problems today. My point here is that it's plain to see that her pointer toe was successfully shortened. Do you see that?
Now I would of course only consider this toe shortening procedure for noncosmetic purposes. My toe aches. It's tired. It's carrying a heavy load! So in attempted to lighten the burden on my longest toe -- I'd think about lopping it off.
But then I did think about lopping it off. And I came to the conclusion if I was to undergo another surgery - something that could be debilitating or have a painful recovery time -- I'd just rather get my ass liposuctioned. That would be purely for cosmetic reasons and for a much better cause in my opinion. But I should have you know that if I win the lottery -- the long toe is going. It really is.
posted by Jessiedc28 @ 11:44 AM
9 Comments:
I've always heard that having a longer "pointer" toe means great leadership ability. How this is possible -- I have no idea, but I've heard it tons of times. So forge ahead with your leadership feet!! :)
Also, if I win the lottery, I am getting boobs. Big ones. I'd get them now, but I'm too cheap.
See I've got boobs. I'd like smaller or invisible saddle bags.
I've got the hips and ass, but I always feel like I'm not properly proportioned. I just want to fill out a shirt!! A little cleavage never hurt anyone, right?
I agree that everything else on me could be a little smaller, and I'm once again starting a quest for smaller thighs by eating right and working out.
But I have been tempted many a time to pay for some cleavage.
If I had to get any "work" done, I would definitely get boobs. I agree with Marissa! I am in AWE of large boobs, always have been! If I had large boobs, I would SMOTHER Chuck with them!
I never thought about this toe-lopping surgery thing, though! I've heard that the long toe is a sign of high intelligence!!!
M & J: My sister can give you some big boob/fake boob testimonials. Maybe it will set you over the edge and convince you to get them.
J: I think that line about how your 2nd toe being a sign of intellegent is just a load of hoo-haa to make us toe freaks feel better. =(
You know how I feel about your toes. Your birthday present may actually arrive on time this year!!! It should be there in 2-5 days from today...ok, so that actually may make it late if it takes 5 days...whatever...
Big boobs suck! The grass is always greener!!!
No worries on the gift. What is it?
You're not getting it out of me this year! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESSIE WESSIE!! It's midnight here, so you have officially caught up with me! Only two more years to go until we reach the big 3-0!
Ooops ...now I kinda feel bad that I called you at 6:15am this morning to remind you to say "Happy Birthday!" =) THANK YOU! I think this is our 13th birthday together!!!!!!!!!!!1
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