Huh.....

Butt pains and more....

First and foremost I'd like to say,

Happy 31 st Birthday Eric!! I love you more then words can properly express!

Last night I watched Broke Back Mountain....more on that later....

I've been shopping for a dress to wear tonight at dinner. I'm taking Eric out for a nice meal for his birthday -- and thought it would be nice to wear a dress. I never wear dresses unless it's a wedding. And tonight I wanted to be especially...sexy (I feel dumb)...for E. Store after store after store and nothing really called to me. At mall number two yesterday I started feeling this little twinge (Honey -- pay attention: Twinge: n. A sudden sharp pain. Webster's Dictionary) in my left butt check. I've been feeling a mild muscle tightening there for a few days but I just thought it was from over activity or something. Anyway -- as the day moves on, and the dresses get looking worse and worse on me, the butt hurts more and more. By the time I've given up on the dresses -- I'm limping. Yes, limping. I limp my ass home (no pun intended! Ha!) and crawl in to bed with a heating pad pressed to my butt. Eric comes home:

Eric: "I called you earlier and you didn't answer the phone. Why did you skip class?"

Me: "My butt hurts."

Eric: "What?"

Me: "My butt hurts. I have a major annoying cramp and it got so bad I was limping!"

Eric: "Flip over" (he did not say this in THAT WAY - FYI)

Me: "What?"

Eric: "Flip over. Let me see."

Me: "Okay......" (I'm not normally THIS easy)

Eric: poking at the cheek over and over again ...."Does it hurt here??" "Here??"

Me: laughing - hard - and feeling stupid

Eric: "OH my God your butt is so ...... jiggly!" Now he's laughing "It's like Jello!"

Me: "OH MY GOD! Get away"

Eric: "Don't tense up..." laughing

Me: ashamed "I don't feel very sexy right now"

No wonder I looked like shit in all those dresses! My ass is jiggly like jello! (Thank God I love him AND I have a good understanding that neither of us works out, eats right, or looks like a super star naked! Otherwise I'd have killed him!)

The butt thing really hurt last night but I didn't take any mind altering drugs. I wanted to but I didn't have any. I don't think Eric believed that I didn't take something peculiar...

This morning as we're getting ready for work he says:

Eric: "What the hell! Jessica. Can you come in the kitchen please? I need to speak with you."

Me: "Huh?"

Eric: "Come here. We need to talk about something."

Me: thinking....what did I do now? Leave a drawer open? Use too much dish soap? Not vacuum a spot? ..I walk in the kitchen and he's got the refigerator door open..... "What's up?"

Eric: "What the hell is this" pointing to the inside of the refrigerator...

Me: looking and not seeing anything looking unlike what a refigerator is supposed to look like. Desperately searching for SOMETHING I realize I've left the steak there that he'd cooked for me to take to lunch.
"Oh. The Steak? The one you cooked for me to take to lunch? Yea, I'm sorr......"

Eric: "NO, not the steak. Keep looking."

Me: Looking...looking...looking..."Oh my God. WEIRD!" no wonder I didn't hear his call last night "I can't believe that! I swear I wasn't drinking last night"

Eric: "You should take a picture and Blog about THAT!"

My cell phone was sitting, freezing it's ass off, in the refrigerator right next to the milk. I think my ass has gone to my head. I didn't get a picture....sorry guys...

Brokeback Mountain otherwise known as the Gay Cowboy Movie by some

So I watched it. And these are my honest thoughts.

Brokeback Mountain made me un-com-for-ta-ble. Yes it did. I had a hard time watching some scenes. The sex scenes & the very emotionally kissing. I love all my family and friends that are gay, and as a general rule they don't make me uncomfortable. If they do make me uncomfortable it's NOT because they're gay, believe me. I just wouldn't want to watch them have sex with one another -- any more then I'm sure they'd want to watch me. I felt, at those moments of the movie, that I was standing directly inside someone's most personal diary. Like I was a bug on the wall watching their deepest darkest secret come to life. An intrusion on my part. Luckily for me, there is a scene or two of that type, but not an overwhelming amount. I think to say, "There's not all that much gay stuff going on", which I heard a lot, is absolute bull shit. One gay sobbing make-out scene is enough for me. 5 and I'm uncomfortable.

With that said -- it's important to look beyond those few scenes to see this:

the movie was about the struggles of the gay man, and country-bumpking gay men no less, in the 60's and 70's. They were gay men in the heart of the west at a time when it just WAS NOT HAD. The invisible gay men of that time were far different then the stylish, interior decorating, high pitched, men of today. There wasn't Queer Rancher for the Straight Rancher. There was no gay pride parades. There were no gay bars. No purple flamingo fun restaurants with confetti on the tables. No. These men were treated about as nicely as a black man would be treated in those parts, in those times.

What made me cringe was that they, and everyone around them, were so, so , so uncomfortable. These men were ashamed, and scared, and angry, and hiding, and desperate. It was terrible. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time praying that no one would see them hug too long, or find out they were in love, or say something terrible to them .... ugh! It was like watching Roots all over again. Icky social ickiness!

The acting was spectacular and they deserve every award they get. It was all incredibly believable. Uncomfortably so.

I did cry at the end.

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 7:44 AM