Today is the 26th
Today is July 26th and I get married in one month. The time is getting less and less and I am not nervous. In fact I'm thrilled. I'm a little nervous about saying my vows in front of my family (immediate family) and friends (my best friends) but not in the "I'm not sure I mean it way" or the "gee, this is a big step way" just purely in the "I feel like people are watching us make love" way. Make sense?For those of you who know me, or at least most of those who've known me since I turned 19, know the out going, center of attention Jess. No, really I am that way -- but only because I've had the 10 years to perfect it. I'm actually the shy, oh-god-don't-make-me-me-do-this Jess who is afraid of the public. Bowling, public speaking (this includes saying "I do" in a room filled with only four people"), and meeting new people -- makes me nervous. My lips actually quivered the first time I was on a fucking conference call, and no one was even LOOKING AT ME!
I, yes I, get scared. I get mostly scared of being scared.
I want to look pretty for Eric, BADLY. But I don't think pretty means speaking to him, saying the most intimate words I've ever said, with my lips quivering....does it? I'd rather just wake up in bed, with my hair all fucked up on a Saturday (he says I look pretty then anyway) and say all the "oh I swear to GOD I want to be with you for the rest of my life" and "Please don't die of anything. Nothing. Like...don't ever die. Don't die of a car accident, a strange electrical issue, God DON'T get cancer, don't speed, don't have some brain fart aneurysm (sp)...PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME ON EARTH ALONE! PLEASE!" Why can't I say these things while we're in the privacy of our own bedroom.
Is that too much to ask?
Jansen doesn't even dance in crowds -- how Jansen, did you do it?
posted by Jessiedc28 @ 7:10 PM
3 Comments:
Not to give you something to worry about- but we *tried* to do the private ceremony thing too....a forgotten camera by a immediate family member thwarted that plan and I have never wanted anything to be over so badly in my life! :) God that sounds bad- but you know what I mean. And by the way- no driving = me drinking = me dancing, so watch out for the dancing fool!
Who is this post from? What do you mean you "tried" to do the private ceremony thing? I must know!
Sorry- it's Jansen! We tried- meaning the scheduling was all there, but the camera thing threw everything off so there were many more people than expected at the ceremony. Oh- you know my dancing thing? Imagine our first dance...
Post a Comment
<< Home