Huh.....

Two Face-ed-ness

I wanted to write about so many things today. Well -- this week actually. My cold sore. The tears I sobbed at my desk out of self pitty. The word “Fuck” and it’s inappropriateness during communication strong points. My sucky 83% on my first History Test. And so much more…but I took time to explain this theory of mine to a friend and realized – it’s best if shared widely.

Two face-ed-ness is an important aspect in adult life, one most often over looked. Lost are the days that being “two-faced” meant the end all of your elementary reputation. No more shall you be shunned from your little clique of girlfriends for being a “two-faced bitch”. These times are over and the accusations are silly and childish.

Example: Let’s pretend for a second that you don’t care for someone and that someone happens to be friends with your friends, or one of your boyfriend’s friends, or your family’s friends, or an x-friend that you once liked but for whatever reason you no longer consider them a friend at all. In these cases, it’s nearly impossible to avoid seeing that person altogether. If you live in the same town you could see each other at the mall much less at the annual Christmas Party! If you live in separate towns, but you went to high school together, you may see them at your reunion. Always be prepared….

So what do you do? You act utterly adult and two-faced. In other words you smile and greet the person as if you are surprised or happy to see them. Or you act casually, as if, “yes, I knew you’d be here, let’s acknowledge each other and move on” and then you ask the polite questions, “How have you been?”, “How is your….(add noun)?”, “Are you still working at (add company name here)?”, “Did you see that movie (add current blockbuster hit)”. I assure you that most often the person knows that you do not care for he/she. Chances are they don’t much care for you either and because of this fact - it is important at this juncture to ask the polite questions, blending with the crowd or the environment, and then swiftly move on to others that you do enjoy.

The behaviors you do not allow yourself are all the things you’re brain is playing for you in the little movie theater of your mind. You do not spit on them, curse them, call them names, throw them on the ground and scream endless truths at them, or flick your hair in their face. No. Don’t trip them, poison them, verbally curse them or throw your eggnog in thier face. Most certainly (and I am repeatedly a failure at this) do not uninvite them to parties, public gatherings, and/or events. If the soiree involves the friends of the hated – invite the hated along. If you do not, it’s a sure sign of quiet warfare on your part – and this is not good adult two-facedness.

Another key to being appropriately two-faced is being kind and giving- in a seemingly sincere and controlled way, but not over doing it. For example: If the hated shows up at your Christmas party – you’d not want to focus all your hostessness on them. You don’t want to seem obviously fake. That is a blatant fuck-up and gives the hated the right to stand up and call you out. Don’t over offer cookies, refills, or comforts. Don’t act over interested in conversation pieces. Don’t ask too many personal questions. And don’t drag them around introducing them to your best friends. Just treat the hated as you would treat your everyday acquaintances. Kind.

Some of you may be sitting back in your desk chair scoffing and my admittance of being two-faced. You may not like me anymore. You may be wondering if I am being two faced to you. Maybe I am, but the moral of my story (and if you don’t agree your welcome to give me a better solution) is that no one likes a drama queen starting fist fights or bar brawls. Face it, no one wants to go to a social gathering when they have to deal with you and the hated not speaking to one another. No one cares what your problem is with the hated, especially if they find the hated worth while and/or fun. Here's the kicker people: you can't always help the way you feel but you can always help the way you react to your feelings. Therefore, in my opinion, it’s far better to be the two-faced adult who can handle herself in diverse crowds instead of the immature twat who likes to reveal their inner dislikes to the world. Save those thoughts for your blog.

In my life, if you’re on the list of those whom I’d consider “not my type” chances are I don’t go the extra mile to maintain contact. No Christmas cards. No mid-week lunch. No “Happy Birthday!” …………. In the absolute WORSE case – I kill you in my sleep – but I reserve those for the ones that I really can’t stand.

Now go off and be adults!

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 2:22 PM