She said it was a cat...
...but really it was a psychotic, flesh eating, furry beast disguised as a cat the size of a turkey.......Saturday morning Holly and STC (fiance extrodinair) wanted to give Sidney, their jumbo cat, a bath. Simple, yes? NO! Sidney is an 18 pound cat. About the size of a Thanksgiving turkey....GET IT? A large turkey with hair... a.k.a. DEVIL MAMMAL.
It didn't' take long before it happened. The psychotic, flesh eating, furry beast bit the CRAP out of poor STC. The plan was to wrap Sidney's powerful body in a towel, put him in to the tub, when he then somehow twisted his chubby neck around 180 degrees and bit STC on the thumb. Sidney's venomous fangs bit through both the thumb knuckle and thumb nail causing sweet STC to be driven to the doctor to get a tetanus shot and antibiotics.
So what does Holly do? She calls me! ME! Me to come over and help her bathe the evil, flesh eating,venom infusing, furry beast. One man down one more to go... (As I write this she's pureeing salsa saying "He's really a good boy -- he just doesn't like to get wet." Sick! Sick because you DO NOT puree salsa and Sidney, the fuzzy turkey, has a little more then a mild distaste for water) I did what any insane, emotionally unstable, best friend would do. I went over to help out. I put my life on the line for her.
Holly wrapped the fuzzy turkey up in a towel. Holly bravely stepped in to the tub with the flesh eating beast, STC came for back up, and we began. Water on. Cat grunting. Holly in tub stabilizing feline head. Jessica rapidly rubbing soap in to beasts body. STC rinsing, rinsing, rinsing. Hearts are beating THUMP THUMP THUMP! It was trying. It was an adrenaline pumping affair. Finally it was over and we were all, including the "cat", left there shaking. Our hearts pounding. Our clothes wet. WE SURVIVED!
posted by Jessiedc28 @ 7:48 PM
4 Comments:
Note to readers: a little over an hour later, the furry beast has returned to his loving, fizzy, grunt-purring, let me sit on your lap, happy & fat existance. And he's clean. Soft too. And no, Sidney was not pureed along with the salsa, even though it reads that way.
Vegas got the first bath, she was a dream compared to Goober. Between the two of them, 6 bath towels were drenched along with 3 adult's clothing.
STC's finger will heal and I love him even more for it.
Lova
THE SENTENCE WAS SUPPOSED TO GO: You DO NOT puree Salsa, and Sidney, the fuzzy turkey, has a little more then a mild distaste for water.
No matter how sick and twisted your feline is I would never puree him. He's way to cute. Even with insanity in his eyes.
Lizzy told me that cat bites are particularly bad on the thumb for some reason. Weird, eh?
I'm going to ask my professor what that thing about the thumb was again...but, he was very adamant about telling us what nasty, nasty creatures cats are.
Wizard, bit me when I was trying to force a tranquilizer in her mouth for our 8 hour car ride from boston to DC, and it was aweful. It went clear down to the bone and I still have nerve damage. It was SO painful for a VERY long time. Now I just have dogs. And they just bite each other.
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