I wanna kill a mockingbird
Thrice daily I get attacked by this
bird while walking our dog, Lady. At first when the bird insisted on following us along our walk I thought he/she was being friendly. Maybe he had a crush on Lady or something? After a few days Eric and I realized that they were actually "dive-bombing" us. Well this is just not a friendly reaction at all! My boss was a wonderful resource for us as she is an avid bird watcher. Based on our description she suggested maybe it is a mockingbird that is attacking us. Sure enough after some research we confirmed that yes (!) it is a northern mockingbird
and the "dive-bombing" is common during nesting.
I'm not sure what these paranoid birds expect us to do! THEY are nesting in OUR pet relief area after all. Eric threw rocks at them this morning to keep them away. You may think this is harsh but one flew directly at my head the other day. I almost got a bird claw in my eye. They either need to learn to share our grassy knoll or move on. Bastard birds!
Clothing Alert
Please take note: Unless you are Lindsay Lohan, and you've dieted to the point of loosing most of your fat and muscle mass, DO NOT TRY ON
BERMUDA SHORTS. Trying on Bermuda Shorts without a stock in amphetimines or a Celebrity pass may cause tears. Big heavy ones. Please, for the love of Jesus, don't put yourself through this!
Dry Ice 1
This is what adults do when they receive Omaha Steaks from thier parents - they melt the dry ice in the kitchen sink to spook up the place.
Dry Ice 2
I was facinated by the way it seemed to creep down the kitchen cabinets..
Cut off Arm
I told you Eric was missing
his hand....
Birfday
So my 28th birthday is coming up in September. I realize to most of your this is eons away but I must begin my planning NOW. Unlike past years I am not throwing myself a party. Shocking as it may be I just don't have the party animal social butterfly bug in me this year. You know you're getting older, and more boring, when your birthday falls on a Friday and you're not planning a kegger. Nope. No kegger for me this year. This year I did, however, take it upon myself to subtly alert my parents that I want
this for my birthday. It will make me all the more anal and freakish about my social calendar.
This PDA in combo with my baby that Holly is delivering in a few weeks will make this one of the greatest birfdays of all time!
The Orange Soda from Trader Joe's that Cory commented on earlier this month is called SanPellegrino and the flavor is Aranciata, Sparkling Orange Beverage. It's pretty good but I think I like Oragina better.
I drank my SanPellagrino with Spicey Tuna rolls which are now currently burning the sin off of my tonge. OUCH! Thank God for Prozac for without it the $550 car issue + the burning tongue would surely = A BAD DAY FROM HELL.
Ugh...my f'ing front brakes are done-for and I have to pay mad mula to get them fixed. I wish I could just take a figgin horse and buggy to work every day! I'm sick of fixing my car! I'm sick of cars! The sad part is that I know it will never stop. The good news is that my car payments go to my Mom so I can send them in sporadically and pay off my credit card when things like this happen. Arghgh.
Denver was a blast. I had so much fun hanging out with the girls. I love to meet new people and to be reunited with people I don't get to see that often. I only wish I could live a tad closer to these girls so that we could go out and cause a scene every now and again. I'm thinking of pulling together a bridal reunion this winter at my parents beach house.
I made the mistake of renting Miss Congeniality 2 last night. I know..... I know..you're probably thinking "Why - would you DO THAT?" I liked the first one but like Legally Blonde -- they should have just NOT done a sequel. Be warned...it's not even a "renter".
I ordered a pair of Seven jeans off of eBay last week. They came late but they DID come. I think they're pretty cool. I haven't worn them for a full day yet -- so we'll see. I hope I can figure out what all the fucking hoopla is about them. Otherwise it won't be worth the cash or the anguish of waiting for them to be delivered.
Classy Brides Maid.jpg
As Lauren here is showing you..... they served broccoli at the reception for dinner.....
Oh jesus
Here I am with two other bridesmaids. I am wearing the vail for which Kathleen told me I made "the purdiest bride EVER!" (Second to Keelee that is.) We had TOO MUCH FUN.
Choking the Bride.jpg
This is some time AFTER the isle walking. Keelee is considerably more relaxed and clearly having fun. That is her husband Lou behind her laughing his ass off.
Bride.jpg
Here is a picture of the bride shortly before she was to walk down the isle. Ain't she purdy!
Don't remember this one
I don't remember taking this picture but at this point in the night I don't remember much. I do remember that I had lots of fun that night though.
Jess & Jose
Here i am with Jose Lima, a Kansas City Royals baseball player. I later found out that my buddy Jose is being sued by a Texas woman for giving her genital Herpes. GROSS!
Denver Day
Today I leave for Denver, Colorado to be in a wedding from my high school buddy Keelee. I have to finish packing, pick up my tailored dress, and head out to the airport here in a bit. I am so excited to both be in the wedding and be in Denver again. I really love that city. I hope to have many pictures of the festivities. We have a cram packed agenda -- so I am sure it will go by fast!
Before I leave I'm going to eat some spaghetti-o's for lunch...
Concerned
This is the face I was making when I asked Holly if she wanted me to mow the bed.
Sleep Talkin'
Last night I spent the night at Holly's. Sometimes when Curt is out of town on business I stay there to have QT with her and feel the baby move. (Read
here if you're having dirty thoughts.) We usually watch TV, eat tacos, drink a little wine, and chat.
When we woke up this morning I asked Holly if she slept well. She's 9 months pregnant so it's pretty rare that she sleeps really well anyway. Her response was, "Eh....you talked a lot in your sleep again". Eric says I do this a lot too. They both have told me how it's particularly hard to determine sometimes whether I'm actually talking to the person I'm sleeping beside or if I'm just sleep talking.
Example:Holly walks back to bed from peeing for what I'm sure is the 120th time....Me
(sitting up in bed): "Do you want me to get up and mow the bed?"
Holly: "Do I want you to get up and
what?"
Me: "Do you want me to get up and mow the bed?"
Holly: ".....uh....no ....that's alright."
Me: "Ok"
(and plopped right back down to sleep)What is wrong with me? I told Eric about it on the phone and he wasn't surprised. He also assured me that I did the right thing. It was, afterall, nice of me to ask Holly if she wanted me to mow the bed. She can't possibly mow the bed when she's 9 months pregnant!
Father's Day Fun!
BOWLING ROCKS!Per my June 7th
post - I arranged for a Father's Day Bowling trip for the family yesterday. If you didn't already know, for the last 20 years of my life, I've had
bowling anxiety. It's an anxiety concocted of not liking to stand up in front of crowds, and hating being not very good at something in front of others. I conquered my fear last night at bowl America in Vienna, Virginia. I let down my guard, mentally prepared my self for failure and an all out bowling blow-out, and I bowled my britches off. I loved every friggin second of it. Everyone else bowled about 2 games and I stayed behind with Eric to bowl a third. My score? 73 on the last game. I know...I know...you aspire to be as good of a bowler as I -- however it's takes 20 years of bowling denial to be THIS GOOD people! (The bowling shoes by the way - too cute and way comfy too!) I'm thinking of starting a bowling anxiety league.
Dreams
Because I so greedily took a 5 hour nap last night, between the hours of 5 and 12, I slept REALLY SHITTY from 2am - 8am. I had hideous nightmares about Holly having cancer of the thoracic cavity, and Eric getting arrested, and my Cell phone not working. HOW MISERABLE DOES LIFE GET, I ASK?!
So today as a result I got up at 8am and took the dog for a nice, healthy, hot walk for an hour. I got coffee, discovered a HUGE bull frog, and perspired profusely. It was lovely and a great way to get "it" all out.
My menu today:
Eggs Benedict (I left this off my list of "reasons to live")
Champaign
Fruit salad
Champaign
Pizza (pepperoni & cheese - 1 each)
Miller Light (5)
I am waiting to hear about the f'ing soda from Trader Joes........
Night of ME
Today was THE MOST boring day at work EVER! I was SO BORED! I did NOTHING. I finally finagled my way out of the office at 4pm to retreat home for a night of ME.
Eric had band practice tonight and it was just Lady (the dog) and I. My plan was to eat unhealthy, down right marvelous, food until I felt I would puke, finish my book, begin a new one, take a nap, and watch Law & Order until bed time. I did
most of those.
My diet consisted of (please consult "reasons to live" posted earlier this week):
- Spaghetti - O's
- Fanta Orange
- 2 Pickles
- Some marinated Cucumber
- and 4 Oreos
**3/5 of those items follow my "reasons to live" list - thankyouverymuch.
THEN I finished my magnificent book, Notes From The Underbelly. I highly recommend this book BUT you have to fall under the following categories to enjoy it (Cory this is not a book for you!)
- You should probably be a female
- You have to be comfortable about the fact that you will one day bare children
I was envious of this author's sense of humor and I aspire to be that witty - regardless of subject matter. Rumor has it that she's coming out with book #2 shortly and I cannot wait.
Moving on...
I began my next book. It's the 3rd book in a sort-of Series I started years ago called Ya-Ya Sisterhood. Lizzy just found out that a 3rd book has just been released and I ran out to buy my hardback treasure a few days ago. So far so good. I realized I missed the hilarity of the way this author paints lives. It's written by Rebecca Wells and if you've read the first two you MUST read this one as well.
Finally, my night of ME somewhat slowed as I proceeded to take a nap from 7 until midnight. Thus why I am up writing this now. Youda thunk I just got up and it's Saturday morning based on all the friggin energy I have now.
In a short while I am going to go over there, flip through the damn TV channels, and try to find some Law & Order to watch. Sounds silly but it's really the last on my list and I'd feel bad if I didn't check each item off. Must be the teeny eeny weeny-est part of me that reflects any OCD.
So until it's officially tomorrow, and not just a fake - slept too long tomorrow, I say GOOD-BYE.
Now go read.
Katie Holmes has lost her mind
Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are now offically engaged. They've been dating for a whopping 2 months and they're just silly with love. He aparently
proposed to her on top of the Eifel Tower in Paris (gag) and gave her a humongous diamond (growl). I don't get it. I'm angry. How am I ever going to watch Dawson's Creek reruns without turning green?
Scientology?
What
IS Scientology anyway? The sick relationship between wacko Tom Cruise and recently demented Katie Holmes brought me to research it a little. I am NOT RELIGIOUS and you DO NOT have to worry about me going through another "born again" phase. I just purely wanted to check in to what all the f'ing hoopla is about with this Scientology.
Yesterday I heard on the radio that Tom Cruise is paying some Scientology dude to follow Katie Holmes around to every set, hotel, and foreign land to guide her in true Scientology-like ways. WHATEVER! I took the time to day to look up Scientology, none of the information I received really made much sense, but I DID run in to a Free Personality Test on the Scientology Website.
Shall we?
Dont' bother! You have to go to the church site to take the test and have some Scientology dude read you your results. BUNK!
Yoga Ball Update
YOGA BALL + SKIRT + HUMID WEATHER = OUCH!
Height
Yesterday afternoon I was sadly informed of my true height at the doctor's office. I was shocked and appalled. First of all - whenever I'm asked how tall I am I instantly spout out - "Five foot nine". I've been doing so as long as I can remember. I always knew that I was really about five eight and three quarters -- but I just round up. I mean - I wear heels all the time anyway, right? Eric and I have had this constant argument about our height for as long as I can remember. Barefoot to barefoot I swear we're about even. He says he's taller. We've taken out the tape measure on several occasions to firm it up. He always measures me and the damn thing says I come up WAY shorter then I know I am, to which I reply, "Whatever -
liar!"
Yesterday:NURSE: "You're five foot
seven and three quarters!"
JESS: "WHAT?! Are you sure?"
Other nurses turn their heads to see the psycho patient who is outraged by her height.NURSE: "Yes, would you like to see? Step away from the chart and check it out..."
I step forward and turn to see.....JESS: "Huh...."
I slump and walk away... I have lied on many a document about my height. I have lied to the Federal Government on my Military ID, I have lied to several states in which I've had my drivers license, and I have lied to my friends. I think most of the hurt really stirs in the fact that now I have to accept my actual height of five foot seven and three quarters which in turn makes me terrified to find out what my average weight should be.
Sheet!
Pick or What?
I had the biggest wedgie on my way back to the office this morning after getting my Starbucks Grande Coffee. Starbucks is about 3 blocks down the road and today there was some guy walking a few feet behind me on my trek back. I knew because I could hear his keys jingling not far from my ass. I didn't want to turn around to look how close behind me he was but I knew he could see my wedgie. I decided not to pick it out in case he worked in the same building as me. I couldn't bare the thought of having to share the same elevator with the guy who had front row seats to one of my wedgie picking episodes. I decided to leave it there. Untouched. It kept creeping though. Moving ever so slowly in to the depths of my crack. (I HATE THAT!) So then I wondered --
what is worse anyway? Watching the girl in front of you (wearing a very cute summer skirt) pick out her wedgie -- or watching the wedgie creep further and further in to her crack as she walks down the street? I DID have to ride the elevator with him after all so I think I'm just glad I didn't pick it.
Reasons To Live (Not necessarily In this Order)
- Salt and Vinegar Chips
- Spaghettios
- Pickled Onions
- macaroni & Cheese with Ketchup on top
- Pickles
- Salsa & Chips
- Pickled Cauliflower
- Frosted Mini Wheats
- Oreos
- Sorbet/Sherbert
- Eric's BBQ Ribs
- Marlboro Lights
- Burritos
- Starbucks Coffee
- Everything Bagels w/cream cheese
- Vegetable Cream Cheese
- Cup O Noodles/Ramen
- Orange Juice
- Eggs Benedict
- Seared Tuna Salad
- Egg Salad sandwiches
- Mom's potato salad
- Steak
- Cool Ranch Doritos
- MASHED POTATOES
- Pork Chops
- Moms Salad dressing
- Mangos
- Dasani Water
- Kimchi
- Pickled Pigs Feet
- Picked Herring
- Tuna sandwiches made with Kraft Salad dressing
- Jelly with seeds
- PBJs
- Cold Beer
- Zataran's Spanish Rice
- Busch's Baked Beans
- Sour Patch Kids
- Kit Kats
- Marinated Artichoke Hearts
- Rocky Road Ice Cream
- Relish, relish, and more relish
- Enchiladas (gooey ones)
- Dr. Pepper
- vinaigrette Dressing
- Pepperoccinis
- That hot red stuff at Subway
- Onions (grilled, raw, sauteed, etc)
- Yellow rice with Italian Dressing on top
- Marinated Cucumbers (in Italian or vinaigrette Dressing)
- Beets
- Blue Raspberry Blow Pops
- Eric
The wheels on the bus go round and round
I'M GOING BACK TO SCHOOL!
Today I went to see the school counselor at NVCC to find out what I needed to do in order to begin classes in the fall of 2005. She confirmed that I have to test in to my English course, take a butt load of classes to transfer, and pay lots of money.
Today I learned I have the mathematical memory of a gnat and I have retained 0% of my high school mathematic education. I am, for college sake, mathematically Retarded. Hi. My name is Jessica and I didn't know how to solve this problem until late this evening:
5/6 - 3/4 = ?
Hi. My name is Jessica and I FORGOT THE WHOLE COMPLEX IDEA OF THE COMMON DENOMINATOR. I'm ashamed. Leave me alone. I'm going to check out a fucking math book tomorrow to aide in my studying for the math placement test. I REFUSE TO SHOW UP NOT EVEN KNOWING ELEMENTARY MATH. I may not be the brightest fire fly in the forest but I can count chickens and apples and that, my friend, is what really matters now isn't it?
My first semester will be English and Spanish. I realize that having dated most of the Spanish speaking residents here in the Northern Virginia area - that I perhaps should already be fluent - however, I am not. I will start from square one. Mi llamo Jessica. I will beginno Spanish one-0 soon-0.
I just bought a new desk from Staples on which I'll do my homework.
This is my 3rd time going to college and this time I'd like to come out of it with a mother Fucking teaching degree.
Wish me luck!
You're Jealous
Because on July 9th I'm going in for a spa treatment. Uh huh. I'm getting a mani, pedi, facial and a massage. Eat your heart out .
**This message is not intended for Holly as she will be with me during my spa day.
date night
E and I went out to dinner on Friday. It was so wonderful and romantic but Eric lost his hand in an unfortunate accident at the restaurant. The food was good and we didn't have to tip much since they felt partially responsible for his loss. THANK GOD the other hand still works.
Shower
This Saturday is Holly's baby shower that Deannie and I are throwing. I love Holly so much that I can't hardly stand it most days so this shower needs to be a reflection of that. For any of my other friends it'd just be ham sandwiches and wine coolers -- but not for Holly.
I can't give away all the details of the shower on here because some of the attendees might be reading BUT I will say that I am doing lots of
crafting. Deannie is the chef extrodinaire (THANK GOD) and together we're going to make this a the baby shower of a
life time. Tomorrow I am taking the day off of work so that I can tie up any loose ends. I have to make a trip to Michaels for more crafting goods, stop at the Party Store for decs, and finish my gift to the baby which I am also crafting. It's going to be quite a day! So no blogs for you tomorrow.
Laser
This is a late post but I promised you I'd update you so I shall. The Laser Hair removal on my nether regions took place last Wednesday. First of all I decided to NOT go with Alase. They wanted to charge me $1500.00 for the Brazilian and then my friend Deannie found out that a local spa does something similar for much cheaper. It's called
Smooth Exposure and uses less intense light to induce hair removal. THEY say that Alase uses lots of intense light - more then what is needed for hair removal. I am slightly skeptical. I have learned in my years that you get what you pay for. I am getting pits and bikini done by Smooth Exposure for a 42% smaller wallet dent.
SO now I can explain the procedure and whatnot...
I was in and out in 30 minutes. It would have taken less time but I had a lot of questions.
- Can I shave in between procedures?
- How long will this take?
- Is there anything I shouldn't do afterwards?
- How many teatments does this take?
- Can you hear my stomach growling? I'm hungry.
First she had me put on an ever sexy pair of disposable underwear. They basically looked like a very long piece of gauze that went from front to back and was secured around the waste by a thin piece of elastic. Sexy! Then She had me put on a gown that was strapless, beige, and equally sexy.
Then I hopped up on the bed and she zapped one pit at a time. The tool she used looked like a scanner that the check out girls use at Target. It flashed a beam of light in to your pit and sent a shock through your skin, essentially singing the hair underneath the skin. It was not painful but more shocking. Before and after she'd zap you the tech would roll a frozen stainless steal rolling pin on the treated area. This acted like a sterile reusable ice cub. This process was repeated on my nether regions which was a little more sensitive but thankfully FAST.
My next appointment is in July. I was told to expect some hair "purging" between now and then. Basically all the dead hair follicles are supposed to fall out of my skin. I haven't noticed any thing extreme but I'll let you know if that changes.
UPCOMING TOPICS:
**I finished the book by Jessica Inclan.
**Holly's Baby shower
**My new book
**Bad dog behaviors
**Thinking of taking a few college courses in the fall
**Deannie and I are going to start doing the S Factor in her garage a few times a week! I wonder if I can put pole dancing on my next resume?
Fathers Day Phobias
My phobias are:
- Bowling
- Public Speaking
- Buffets
- First Moves
In my 20's I have forced myself to work through almost all of these ridiculous phobias with the exception of bowling. I hate bowling. I don't like the idea of bending over in front of a room full of people to toss an extremely heavy ball down a lane JUST to knock over pins. The pin knocking over is just not gratifying enough for the humiliation of having to bend over in a crowd.
I know that the world does not revolve around me, nor my ass, but I can't help thinking that people are looking at us. So -- I have until now avoided the obnoxious sport of bowling. To me it was just easier to avoid then to tackle. Why force something so deeply humiliating if I'm 27 and perfectly happy WITHOUT bowling? However, in the good name of my Father, I am going to over come this ridiculous fear, if even for just one night. This Father's Day I have arranged a bowling party. Yes - willllllingly. My family and I will be meeting up at the Great Falls Bowl America to partake in Father's Day bowling & humiliation. I am putting on my Kick_Some_Ass face and I'm going to bowl my little britches off! Big ass or no big ass!
Was that a weekend?
I had THE BUSIEST weekend of a lifetime and I'm cravingn for Friday already. This weekend I power cleaned my condo for The Renter's arrival last night, moved in to my new home, had a yard sale, and dropped a Nissan Extera full of stuff off at Good Will. I'm POOPED! I'm pooped and wearing flip flops today at work.
I'm also ultra glad that the condo prep is over. It took just over a weekend to complete and I feel so great about having purged that much shit out of my place. I had make-up that I was clinging too for some reason and I just had to reach back and learn to let_it_go. I should have worn a t-shirt that said "Leave me alone - I'm simplifying my life right now"
Yesterday during the last 2 hours of my crazy weekend I was sweating, tired, achey, and I was meeting The Renter at my condo to sign the lease and show her around. I parked my car out front (next to a curb painted yellow) as
all the tenants do when the have to unload thier groceries. I ran up to my condo with my baskets of shit and I heard the dreadful sound of a tow truck backing up to my car. Little hispanic kids playing ball in the street were saying "Lady! Lady! Der stealing ur car!" I hauled ass down the stairs (in my flip flops!), ran up to the truck with my car loaded on the back and said to the driver:
Me: "
Hey man! I'm unloading my groceries! You can't
take my car!"
Jerk: "Do you see a yellow curb?"
Me: "uh...yea..but"
Jerk: "Then I'm taking your car..."
Me: "FINE! How much
cash will it take for you to drop it?"
Jerk: "Twenty Five bones"
Me: "Will you wait for me to get it?"
Jerk: (Still loading my car) "Uh huh"
I go up to get my purse and come back down....
Me: "Drop the car first then you can have the cash."
Jerk: "Lady, please. You give me the money or I'm taking your car."
Me: "FINE! HERE! Now drop it!"
Jerk: Dropping my car...."Thinkin' I'm gonna steal from you. I ain't tryin to play you like dat."
Me: "WHAT_EVER!"
$25.00 and a racing heart is a much smaller bill then the $100 it would have cost me to get my car out of the stupid tow lot. JERK!
A sad pet story
My best friend
Lizzy's hamster just died. The question came up about what to do with him now? Do you bury him?
This reminds me of a pet I
once had....
Back in 1999 Eric bought me a pet hamster. He surprised me with it one day after work. I had the happy little hamster (whose name escapes me at this moment) for a week or so when he started acting a little odd. He wouldn't drink or eat & he wasn't moving much. One night Eric and I came home (I was living in a house with him and a bunch of dudes at the time) after a concert and when I went to my room I noticed him deadishly lying there on the floor of his cage. When I touched him he flinched and sucked in air very shallow like, so I knew he wasn't quite dead yet.
Conveniently there was a raging keg party going on at the house and Allison, a vet hospital receptionist, was there on the scene. Allison immediately diagnosed him with "wet tail". (The hamster squirts.) Shortly there after there was talk of putting him out of his misery and how. Suggestions such as, "Just put him in a sock and smack him against the wall. It will kill him instantly! That's what we did when I worked a Pet Co!" came from an assortment of drunk friends. As it turned out, no one had the balls to murder the poor hamster via sock. Allison kindly volunteered to drive my little rodent pet to the animal hospital, at 3am, and IMMEDIATELY put him to sleep with gas. She promised to return with the body so that we could have a proper burial the next day.
Nine sheets to the wind I was when she returned and some how or another the hamster body ended up in the glove compartment of my car. I am
fairly certain that I put him there with the intent to bury him at my Mothers house under the willow tree. THREE DAYS LATER I remembered his stiff,
not yet stinking, body was in there and had to bury him behind Eric's house instead. Using a dirty fork to dig his sad little grave I buried the little creature of God next to some keg cups in the back yard.
To this day I think about him and the courage it took Allison to risk her license and drive down to the Animal Hospital, drunk, and put my hamster out of his misery. A moment of silence please....
Pet Store Dangers
Yesterday Eric and I went to our favorite pet store to get a cricket for his Black Widow, Charlotte. Since 1999 we've been going to this store and looking at all the neat pets. For the last several years Eric has made friends with these big white parrot like birds. He likes to stick his finger in there and scratch under their wings. Sometimes they talk to him and whatnot. The sign on the cage says, "
DO NOT STICK YOUR FINGER IN BIRD CAGE!" but over the years Eric has really built up a lot of trust in his feathery friends. As usual Eric walks by and says, "I LOVE these guys! They're so cool!" and I said, "Honey. It says don't stick your finger in there." to which Eric replies, "but look -- he likes it
ttttOUCH...OKAY_OKAY _LITTLE_BIRDY_ LITTLE_ BIRDY_ LET GO_LET GO_ LET_ OUCH_ OH MY GOD_ OH MY GOD_
LET GO - FUCK!"
Me: "Oh my God GROSS! Does it hurt? Do you want me to get you a band aid?"
Eric: "Yes it fucking hurts. I'm shaking! Do you have a band aid?"
Me: "In the car..."
Eric:
"Yes please. Will you get one for me?"Take Note: ALWAYS keep an emergency road side kit in your car. (I'm sure your mother has told you to do so anyway.) You never know when you're loved one will disobey signs and cause a bloody mess.
Purge Is My Middle Name
Last night I got through phase 1 of needed condo preparation for the Renter. I threw away LARGE amounts of junk that I had stuffed in drawers, closets, and containers. I sorted, organized, and parted with much loved
JUNK.
Things I got done:- Cleaned out my bathroom vanity
- Put away clean sheets/towels for Renter to use
- Consolidated closet space
- Purged more clothing to go to good will (I never knew I had so many sweat suites)
- Purged 5 pairs of flip flops
- Purged 8 years worth of make-up I was saving for God knows what
- Purged Pedicure items I've had since 1996
- Cleaned out both dressers
- Set aside stuff I have to bring to my new home
- Vacuumed cat hair
- Turned on air conditioner for the first time in 2005
Things I still have to do before Renter moves in:
- Clear off Desk
- Move Computer
- Move files
- Move clothes that are coming with me
- Find a Yard Sale location or drop stuff off at Good Will
- Clean BIG TIME
- Buy tons of cat food
- Buy tons of cat litter
- Write out contact list for Renter
- Learn to let go of books I've already read
- Print out final lease agreement for Renter
- Take pictures of Condo and email to Renter
- Get Visitors pass from Deannie
- Brush Dinah
- Paint Breakfast Bar
- Get Eric to fix light in kitchen & closet light
- Sweep & clear off Balcony
I clearly have way more things to do yet but I made major head way which makes me happy. I was really over whelmed thinking about all the stuff in drawers and closets that I didn't know what to do with. I think I'm good now. If anyone wants to come and volunteer let me know! I need hands to carry stuff to the trash-o-la!
Me: "Honey? What am I supposed to do with this entire bag of cheap Mardi Gras beads I have collected over the last 6 years?"
Eric: "um.....THROW......THEM......AWAY."
Drunk group shot 2
This is one of many drunk group pictures. I see no need to post them all but you get the point. That would be Keelee with the Boa on. =)
hooker
Here is a picture of Keelee opening, and then eating, her gifts.
Tranny and Kathleen
Here is Kathleen getting jiggy with the Tranny that was jealous of Kathleens Sephora eye make up job all night!!!
Good Morning!
This is how hot Keelee looked AFTER the night of partying. In her defense -- she was also feeling the onset of Strep at this point....
Sicky2
This is Keelee bed ridden with Strep. She was fighting a fever here, layered under several feather down comforters. Poor Keelee!!
Jess n Mindy
Here is me in my PJs with
Mindy McCready (the country singer). Keelee's sister Kara ran in to her at our hotel bar and I went down to see what all the fuss was about. (Yes, I am in my Pajamas)
