My Heart
My heart goes out to my friend Serena and her family. She lost her cousin in a helicopter accident this weekend in Iraq. He was an Air Force academy graduate and had a new baby.
Flick to Flickr
I have all these pictures I wanted to post of my wonderful weekend of bachelorette madness. Flickr, my new picture posting buddy, alerted me that I've already met my limit of uploadable pictures. BUNK!!! Now what the hell am I supposed to do??
This weekend in Chicago was SO FUN! So fun in fact I am having a hard time focusing my thoughts enough to figure out what to write. I'll just post in outline style for now....
Highlihghts
*I got to hang out with Keelee for an entire weekend and meet her close girlfriends.
*Saw a drag show and lots of gay men in black leather pants
*We had an adult "tupper ware" party where I learned lots...
*I got to ride an elevator up 96 floors
*All the girls & I had our make-up done at Sephora on Saturday night
*I got to wear a black tank top that said "Bachelorette" on it in little crystals
*I met Mindy McCready (The Country Singer) and got my picture taken with her. Not that I can SHOW YOU thanks to damn Flickr!
Not so fun moments
*Poor Keelee got Strep throat on Sunday
*The tin man outside of the mall wouldn't take a picture for me unless I paid him (again, pictures would have been helpful here)
*I had to leave the dance club early and alone because I was wasted and couldn't hang
*I landed early at National Airport but still had to sit for an hour on the tar mack before we could get a spot at a gate, meanwhile I had to pee really bad.
Casey's Birthday
Here is a picture taken a few weeks ago at my sister's friends birthday gathering. Left to Right is Casey (the birthday girl), Christina, Eric, Me, Chris (my brother in law), and his friend ....Wally? Walter? Bob? I can't remember....
How fun is this guy?
I missed this part of the bar outting. I must have been watching the ball game in the back ground but how fun is this guy? Wayne is it?
Booty-licious
This is my brothers girlfriend Stephanie. My brother thinks this picture is too revealing and won't let Stephanie pose for Maxim Magazine now. I think she looks booty-licious. Good thing my brother is a blue collar worker and doesn't know how to use the internet, eh? I imagine he'd be mad at me for sharing it with the world.
Smile for the camera
Here is a picture of the Booty-licous girlfriend wispering "Stop being such a controlling prick or I'll poison your precious dog...oh and
smile for the camera honey...." in to my brother's jealous ear.
Booty licious & Cashew Chicken
This is another picture of my brothers booty-licious girlfriend...this is a more updated picture done by my one and only, Eric. Stephanie blames the accident on too much Cashew Chicken at Mai Thai.
Keelee+Chicago=FUCK YEA!
Tomorrow at 10am I am flying to the Windy City for my friend Keelee's bachelorette party. I can't wait!! We're going to party it up and have the best time ever, I can just feel it. I'm ever excited to meet new people -- the other girls in the bridal party that I have not yet met. I am also excited to experience a city I've never been in before.
Compliments of Keelee's parents we're staying at the Omni Embassador East in downtown Chicago. We're going to catch a cubs game and get Keelee really really drunk.
Keelee and I hated each other in high school pretty much until we graduated in 1996. Then in 1998 we made amends some how and have been "tight" ever since. She introduced me to my love of wine and has always been ubber supportive through out my crazy 20s.
Our past: During our senior year I fell in love with her ex-boyfriend and she hated me for it. She retaliated by egging my car. I wanted to run her over in the parking lot at school, and threatened to do so, but she just didn't come close enough.
My best memories of Keelee: When she used to drink Strawberry Hill before her high school basketball games. Her flashing my boyfriend and I on the porch of my house a few years ago. Listening to the Duets soundtrack over and over and over again while drinking fine wines. Talking mad poo about people from back home that are aspiring crack heads. All her men. Hearing the stories about when she was teaching at our high school and having keg parties with my old high school teachers. Listening to her crazy stories about her Autism students. Sitting in awe as she emailed me about her never ending education.....Keelee is now going for her PHD in something or other.
Lists, lists, and more lists
I'm leaving tomorrow for Chicago and all I can really think about is all the stuff I have to do to my house before Renter moves in. I've decided I need to sort. I need to sort everything in to 4 piles: Things to bring to my new home, Things that should stay, Things for the Yard Sale, and Things to be thrown away. Then there is the Things that need to be done before Renter gets here list.
THINGS TO BRING WITH MESummer clothes
Bathroom stuff
Food
Porn
Shoes
Computer
Files
Printer
Books I have not read
Electric tooth Brush
Toilet Paper
Papertowels
Digital Camera Battery Pack
Jewels
THINGS TO THROW AWAYMagazines
Bathroom stuff I'm not going to use
Kaycee
Fridge stuff that can't be kept
Broken stereo
Broken TV
THINGS TO SELL IN A YARD SALEI don't know where I'm going to have this yard sale yet but I'm thinking about begging Deannie to have it at her house....My overload of Bath & Body Works stuff (still unused)
Facial machine/Steamer
Stuffed animals
vases
bags
purses
clothes
pillows (fancy throw pillows)
videos
Books
candle sticks
Planters & pots
perfume
One Vacuum Cleaner
Mail Box Key
Coats
Endless Knick Knacks
Lizzy
THINGS THAT SHOULD STAYHalf empty bottles of shampoo that Renter can use if she wants
Cleaning supplies
An entire box of pads that I will never use that she can have
Sheets
Towels
Dishes
Ice Tea Maker
TVs (2)
Linen closet stuff
Coat Closet stuff
Vacuum
1 Cat w/litter & food
All furniture
THINGS TO DO BEFORE RENTER GETS HERE
Paint Breakfast Bar
Paint Bathroom shelf
Get copies of keys
Buy Cat food & Litter
Clean
Pack
Fix light in Kitchen
Fix light in Closet
Move Computer
Shut Off Cable
Take all the pictures off the Refrigerator
Put up 3rd Shelf that Curt dis'd me on
Kitchen Bouquet
Further investigation brought me the explaniation below for a Kitchen Bouquet, discussed in my earlier post. To learn something new, as "they" say you should every day, read below:
Kitchen Bouquet: Browning & Seasoning Sauce for meat, gravy and stew. Brings out meat's juicy flavor. Brown bottle ~ 6 inches tall. Yellow and red label. Usually found near the gravy mixes and/or soup ingredients. Also good for darkening and flavoring gravy.
This is a two-part blog:Part 1 -Last night I made Baked Ziti for Eric and I. I DO NOT COOK so this was a special night. I got this recipe from a secret source but I thought since I love you so much I'd share. For those of you who can't cook, or don't cook very often, this is your dish!
Baked Ziti6 cups (6 oz.) Ziti, uncooked
3 cups (about 28 oz jar) spaghetti sauce, divided
1-3/4 cups (15 oz) ricotta cheese
2 cups (8 oz) shredded mozzarella cheese
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley
or1 tablespoon dried parsley flakes
1 egg
1 teaspoon dried oregano leaves
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
3 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
Instructions:
Heat over to 375. Cook pasta & drain. In a large bowl, stir together hot pasta,
1-1/2 cups of spaghetti sauce, ricotta cheese (near the cottage cheese in the grocery store), mozzarella cheese, parsley, egg, oregano, garlic powder, salt and pepper. IN a 13X9 inch baking dish, spoon pasta mixture; top wit hyremaining 1-1/2 cups sauce. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese; cover with foil. Bake 30 minutes or until hot and bubbly. 10 servingsI will tell you I put too much parsley in my dish. I didn't read the "OR" in the recipe so I put both fresh and dried parsley in the Ziti. It wasn't the end of the world but I had dreams about having parsley stuck in my teeth last night. I also couldn't find the ricotta cheese. For some reason I thought it would be like a block cheese that you grate but it's not. It's in a tub located near the yogurt and cottage cheese. Part 2 -This past weekend when we were in New Jersey I had the BEST pot roast EVER. It's the pot roast that I was pigging out on and burnt my mouth on a potato. Well anyway -- my cousin sent me the recipe and I wanted to share. I haven't made it yet but I plan on making it for Eric next week. It will be my first crock pot experience.
Merridith's Pot Roast:
Meridith usually uses a 3-4 lb. roast but it can be bigger depending on the size of your crock pot. She put it in the crock pot in the morning so that it just falls apart at dinner time.
Rub roast with some Kitchen Bouquet and then add:
1 packet Au Juice
1 packet Good Seasonings Salad Dressing mix
1 packet Lipton onion soup
1 can Cream of Mushroom soup
1 can water
1 onion
You can add all of these ingredients in the morning if you want OR if you will be home some time during the day, you can wait and add them then.
red potatoes cut up
carrots
cabbage optional
Hope you like it. Just cook it all day on low. Total no-brainer.
I ain't no chef but I think I can handle this recipe. I am not sure what "Kitchen Bouquet" is but I have sent her an e-mail to inquire. I'll let you know what I find out. If you make either of these dishes shoot me an email or a comment so I can hear what you think!
Good Luck!
Just call me Landlady!
After just a few hours I got TONS of responses from my Craigslist ad about my condo. I have chosen a renter and it's going to work out great for both of us! She is a University of Michigan senior who is coming here for the summer to do an internship. She is "desperate" to find a place and wasn't too picky about anything. I sent her a lease and she's paying me for 3 months! I'll be saving LOTS of money which is awesome and she'll be taking care of my kitty for me.
I know all you animal freaks are thinking, "Oh my
GOD I can't believe she's leaving her cat behind!" but it's really no different then sending your kids to camp for the summer now is it? To be honest I've been severely neglecting my cat over the last 4 months and having someone stay at the house is going to be much better for her. I gave my renter a $100 break on the rent for helping me out. I'm sure Dinah will just appreciate having someone there to lick in the middle of the night.
I am renting my condo furnished so my tenant will get to use my furniture(obviously), sheets, towels, dishes, and even my cleaning supplies. I think that's a pretty good deal, don't you? She'll also have my pool, parking space, and ice tea maker. I ask you, does it get better then that?
I am taking my computer with me to my new home so I'll have blogging time at night now. I'll be able to write more frequently which is what I'd like. I will also be able to use my yahoo email account regularly instead of catching up with everyone during the day here at work. One day I'm sure they'll discover that the majority of my work inbox is filled with personal e-mails!
I LOVE CRAIGSLIST.COM!
Wanna Live In Virginia?
I posted my condo as a furnished temporary rent/sublease, on Craigslist.com. It's exciting although I was altogether unprepared for the quick responses. I had no idea I'd get so many people interested in such a sort amount of time! I am leaving for Chicago this weekend and like a dumb ass I posted my place being available starting in June. Did you know that June a mere 7 days away? I still need to paint a few things, remove my personal items, clean, and repair two lights. Holy Cow what have I gotten myself in to?
Ackk - Monday
So today is Monday and I feel shitty. I was having nightmares last night, cold sweats, and couldn't get up this morning. I think I burnt my mouth on a pot roast potato this weekend so the roof of my mouth feels rigid and weird. I can't keep my body tempurature straight and all I can think about is crawling back in to bed and dozing in and out of conciousness. Ugh.....Monday.
This weekend I drove to New Jersey with Holly for parenting 101. We got LOTS of parenting expirience and learned the art of Parental Patience. My cousin has 3 kids and it's a wonder how she's not insane right now. They are all good kids but they're all active and mobile. How one can sign up child #1 for Cheerleading while needing to put the 3rd kid down for a nap, and at the same time negotiating with kid #2 about why he can't ride on his new Fire Engine RIGHT NOW, is INCREDIBLE. Be extra special to your Mom today.
5 days until my Chicago weekend. I'm really excited and nervous about getting there. Check out my instructions:
I believe you all are flying into O'hare. So this is what I suggest:3 options 1) Shuttle 2) El 3) El and bus
1) Take shuttle from airport to hotel which is around $20.00. without traffic 25-30 min.
2) Take the "el" which is $1.50 per person 35-40 min
you have to buy an "el" ticket at the machines right before you get on. You can put a fice dollar bill in and push the button and a card will pop out. Your card will then be worth five dollars, you can use on el or bus.
How to take "el" you would follow the signs at Ohare that say to "CTA" The blue line is the line that goes to Ohare. You will ride the blue line all the way into the city and when you get to "Washington" you will transfer to the Red line. To do this you get off and follow the signs to "Red Line" and you want to go north which is "HOWARD" you will walk down this undergound tunnel plus a few steps...this might be annoying with luggage. Once you are on Red Line going North towards Howard, get off on Clark and Division. When you go up the stairs you will be dioreinted. Walk two block east towards State Street (towards the lake) go north on state street and you will see the Omni Ambassadors East.
To avoid all the confusion you could just get off of the blue line at Washington, hail a cab (they will be everywhere) and take about a $5.00 cab ride to the hotel.
3) Take el on blue line to the city. get off on Division and take Bus #70 to Clark and Division get off and walk two blocks east to State Street, walk north to Omni.
I feel the most easy is teh shuttle, however it is expensive. So I would take Blue line to Washington. Go up to street (you will be in heart of downtown "the Loop" there will be cabs and get in a cab and tell the cab driver the address or name.
REMEBER THERE ARE TWO OMNI'S WE ARE STAYING AT THE OMNI AMBASSADOR EAST ON STATE STREET.
To see chicago transit maps go to www.chicagotransitauthority.com
Whatever you decide go to hotel and check in, all hotel rooms are paid for. Your name and key will be there.
Toe 5.21.05
Holly and I got Pedicures this weekend with my cousin. Here is a picture of my latest toe flower!
2005 Travel
First of all I just wanted to update everyone on my Alase appointment. I will have my first laser hair removal on June 1st at 6:45! I'm kinda wiggin because not only are they going to be pointing a laser gun at my nether regions but I am also expected to apply this cream, one hour before the treatment, to all these hard to reach places! Then the cream is to be covered with Saran Wrap. How will I do it? Will someone assist me? Won't that be weird? I'll feel like an oreo....
2005 is already posing to be a big year of travel. I have lots on my calendar and like last year some of these trips involve weddings. NOT 8 of them this year, thank God, only 5 and I am only
attending 3. I
do have a baby on the way this year and I'm more then trilled about the arrival of my child. Holly has been a great surrogate mother and even cooler is her offer to feed, clothe, house, and pay for my baby's college education! I just get to hug, kiss, smother, spoil, and squeeze my baby. My son won't be arriving until late July so THAT part of the summer is "blacked out". I can't risk being out of Alexandria when Holly shoots my kid in to the world now can I?
Le Shed-U-lle:May 21 & 22 New Jersey - Holly and I are having a girls weekend with my Cousin Meredith. Merd has 3 babies so Holly is going to be learning little tricks of the trade. I'm going to be there just purely to observe to ensure she's qualified to co-parent my baby.
May 28-30 Chicago - BACHELORETTE PARTY FOR KEELEE!!! I've never been to Chicago, except for logging in many hours at the airport, so I'm THRILLED! We're going to have a sex-toy party while we're there so that makes it even MORE fun! Bring on the battery operated party favors!!
June 22-25 Denver - Keelee's wedding. I'm a lucky bridesmaid and THANK JESUS the dress isn't hideous. Although I did promise her that'd I'd walk down the isle even if she made me wear a seafoam-green lace dress with clear plastic stiletos. I much prefer the red spaghetti strap dress I received instead.
July -
THE CHILD IS BORN! I must stay in the area! I have one wedding reception in late July but it's local. I'll just have to be "on call".
August - Myrtle Beach - Eric's family gathering. Eric's brother is taking his family to Myrtle beach and Eric and I are going to crash their party for the weekend. Eric's sister is a performer in a theater down there so we'll also get the pleasure of checking out her performance. Double fun!
September - JESSICA'S 28TH BIRTHDAY - please take note! I'd hate for you to forget and NOT wish me a Happy Birthday.....
October 13-19 - San Fran! - My cousin Elizabeth is getting married in the San Fran area come this fall. I will not only get to witness her nuptials but I'll also get a chance to FINALLY meet
Cory &
Natalie. I will also think about visiting some with
Courtney &
Bri. I just saw them last summer though, and they're a hand full, so I'm not sure yet. Just kidding guys -- I have to meet your new kitty!!
San Fran musts:
- Hang with nutty family and remind myself why I'm so crazy
- Meet Courtney & Bri's cat that now has no testicles
- Eat Vegen ice cream over a lovely first conversation with Natalie
- Take lots of pictures of Cory and friends for proof that the internet brings people together
- Eat some of Brianna's food since that's what she's going to school for now!
- Pee on all the street corners I left out the last time I partied too long at Courtney's
So far I don't have any other travels during the winter months. I would like to go to LA with Eric at some point but I'm not sure when that will happen since I don't have many vacation days left.
Warning: TMI
I'm getting
Alased. What's that you ask? I am getting my bikini line
lasered so that I don' t have to bother with shaving, bumps, ingrown hairs, or unsightly razor burn. I am THRILLED. I am also scared. I can't imagine someone taking a tiny laser to each and every hair near my fee fee!
Decisions...decisions! I went in for my free consultation last week and learned that there's not just one type of bikini line treatment. No. There are 3. You can get the Regular Bikini, the Modified Bikini, or the Brazilian. Basically the less hair you end up with the more money you pay. After my appointment I took my frightened hair follicles and my start up packet home to read through all my options. I've decided to go with a
version of the
BRAZILIAN! I'm not going to come out looking like a bald 6 year old but just nicely "cleaned up" if you will. Sure it's more money but it lasts a life time people! No more razors near my cha-cha
ever.If you want to learn more about how you can become hairless too you can go to the Alase website by clicking
here.
If everything goes well with my fee fee I'm thinking about doing my pits next. In my opinion it's an investment. I'll be saving in razors & waxing. Right?
The treatment is going to cost me tons of money which, I'll pay in three timely installments. I'll need 5 sessions of treatment. Altogether it will take me a year to complete. I'll keep you posted as I go through this process. I intend to document it very vividly so you can enjoy my hair removal right along with me!
Creepy Crawly
Today at lunch I decided to go outside in the beautiful 75 degree weather and read my book. I sat down on a bench outside with my cold bottle of spring water and began to read when THIS GREEN CATERPILLAR climbed in my shoe.
Green Eyeshadow
I found this picture in my phone. It's was taken right after my photoshoot. You can really see the green eye shadow here but what I'd like to point out is how much more you can see my fucking starter wrinkles when they're highlighted in green eyeshadow.
Weekend Catch up
This weekend I went camping with Eric and his family. We had so much fun and it even rained! Eric and I tented it (thanks to my sister and Chris) and although the entire tent was moist we stayed dry and slept fairly well.
On Sunday Eric and I went to see the scariest movie I've ever seen in my life, House Of Wax. Neither of us knew what this movie was about, so maybe that's why it made me want to run out of the theater screaming "Mommy!", but whatever (!) it did the trick. Yes, Paris Hilton is in it, and she's actually not bad. AND she has the coolest death in my opinion. For those of you who don't know me very well I DO NOT do scary movies. I hate them. They make me anxious, scared, and crabby. I owed Eric one scary movie so I lived up to my end of the deal but hear me now - I WILL NOT SEE ANOTHER SCARY MOVIE IN THE THEATER AGAIN. I've seen two in my life and they were DISTURBING ENOUGH FOR ME TO LITERALLY FEEL SICK.
No more for me. I'm currently reading the book that was sent to me by
Jessica Barksdale Inclan,
Walking With Her Daughter. So far I love it and it's really gripped me emotionally. I'm of course waiting for the end though since that's where she
let me down last time. I have a feeling this one will end better though. I'll keep you posted on my final review so you can pick one up too if it's great. I always love a summer read recommendation!
I started watching
Star Wars - Episode I - The Phantom Menace last night after a 2 hours house cleaning stint. There is
so much more to pay attention too in these modern movies that I had to turn it off about 30 minutes in to it. I want to see it when I'm bright eyed and bushy tailed so I can really stay focused. We're going to restart the movie as soon as I get home from work so I can really hunker down and feel the power of The Force. I'll let you know my thoughts tomorrow.
I'm off to New Jersey this weekend to visit my cousin Meredith and her family. Holly and I are driving up there in the wee hours of Saturday morning. I can't wait to spend time with the kiddies and have constant contact with Holly's pregnant belly for two whole days.
Self Defense
In this day of age, when the fear of Zombies and Vampires is high, I'm extremely thankful for sites like
this. These educational sites are the sites that can SAVE LIVES, people. It just takes one person to take it upon themselves to learn and then educate the people around us so that the fear of Vampires and Zombies can be safely reduced. Please click on
this link for more information about how YOU can help save Americans in your neighborhood from Zombies and Vampires.
Peace be with you.
jessprofile
Recognize this girl?
Artwork by: Eric
Plumber Butt Crack
This is one of the reasons I am going to New Jersey this weekend. How can you resist a little one as cute as this?!
My Own Private Curse
I think I cursed myself with my last post. On the way home from our weekend camping trip I was cursed with a case of the Poopie Loopies and had to make an emergency pit stop at McDonalds. Note to self: Asian Food & Taco Bell in one weekend might be more then my "battle" calls for.
Constipation is a bitch
Constipation is a bitch. I hate it. I’m not a “regular” person so when I do “go” I don’t need it to be any more difficult then it has to be. I also like the weight loss factor of being “regular” because I think if my body processed my food faster, and in a timelier manor, saturated fats would not have time to cling to my unsightly ass!
To battle constipation I like to eat high fiber foods. If you are a Constipation Warrior too you might be interested in my new find, high fiber yogurt. Light N’ Lively with Fiber is a newer yogurt on the market that has 3 grams of fiber in one little 4 oz container of smooth fruity yogurt. It tastes great and will make you poop too therefore an A+ food in my opinion.
Other high fiber foods I eat are:
*Spinich salads
*Wheat bread only (sandwhiches, toast, breakfast)
*Kale
*Life Cereal (and many many more)
*Beans (baked, black, refried, or what have you)
*Dried fruits
*Any assortment of Asian foods usually does the trick
*Taco bell usually works too!
Just some food for thought…
Movie #3
I have to admit that I was craving for Star Wars yesterday. I hung out with Holly for a bit after work and then she asked if I wanted to come and run and errand with her but my response was, "No. I am going home to watch Star Wars."
Eric and I popped in the movie at about 8pm and I immediately got sucked in to
Star Wars - Episode VI - Return of the Jedi. This was a very intense movie for me. I don't' really remember any of this movie from my childhood except maybe the Ewoks. (
Weren't they like the Tickle Me Elmo/impossible Christmas gift to find of the 1980's?) Anyway now that I've seen the way that the Star Wars collection
ends I'm thinking about reading the books that go past Return of the Jedi. I'm dying to know what happens to Luke, Leia, Chubaka, and Han Solo. Eric has told me little bits of things that he's read but it's just too great of a Saga to pass up.
I have so many questions:
- Do Han Solo and Leia live happily ever after?
- Does Leia turn in to mad Jedi chick?
- Will there be another generation of Jedi or Skywalkers?
- Is Chubaka gonna get a girlfriend already?!
- Does Luke stay on the "good side" or will he eventually convert to "evil" like his father did?
- Is someone else going to try and take over the galaxy now that The Emperor is dead?
Thoughts on Star Wars - Episode VI - Return of the Jedi
- How disgusting is Jaba The Hut? Does he, or does he not, look like he's got putrid B.O. and foul breath? The man eats frogs.
- Um...Leia....since when do you have a 6-pack you skinny bitch...eh hem...sorry
- Ewoks - I want one.
- Less choking in this one. Mr Vadar kept his Jedi Choking under lock and key. I really feared Darth a lot less in this movie. I think he was softening to prepare for his big switch from evil to good.
- Yea...lets leave the helmet ON, eh? I'm not sure if Vadar noticed but the fact that half of his face is missing and the skin that he does have left looks like it's rotting slowly - is just GROSS. Note to self: "Good" people stay pretty longer and get to keep their body parts.
- I wasn't sure I like the 80's disco scene that was going on in Jaba's palace. I feel it was a little too Fraggle Rock for Star Wars.
- Please say a little prayer and have a moment of silence for the late Yoda. I did.
- I'M SO GLAD THAT LUKE REMAINED A REBEL AND DIDN'T GO TO THE DARK SIDE. I was REALLY concerned about that. He came across kind of creepy through most of the movie but I now realize that was just his wise Jedi attitude flowing.
- One last thing! I noticed last night that C3PO's job as translater is a little one-sided. Well it's interesting to me how none of the creatures can communicate with each other but THEY ALL understand English. Imagine Chewy and Jaba having a conversation. C3PO would listen to Jaba he translates it to Chewbaca in english. When Chewy talks C3PO translates to Jaba in English. Doesn't that strike you as odd? Everyone should just speak english.....huh....
May The Force be with you!
Pranking Mom
Around Easter Eric and I were doing our almost-weekly dollar store cruise. We love to browse dollars stores every where we go. For those of you who have ever been in a dollar store you know that there are good buys (cleaning products, wrapping paper, and candles) and a little category I like to call - Who the fuck would buy that? (figurines, strange food, and hologram pictures of Jesus). We're cruising down the figurine isle when I see this little statue of something that LOOKED to be a third world country's version of a Precious Moments figurine. I said, "Look Eric! We should put this in with your Mom's precious moments collection and see if she notices..." We purchased this little prank for only a dollar and pranked the hell out of his Mom. It took her a few days but she finally noticed this alien figurine in her display case.
Eric & Jessica 1, Eric's Mom 0.On Mother's Day we left Eric's family's Mothers Day luncheon early and went by his Mom's house to wash his car. His Mom wasn't home yet and I was bored so I went in the house and decided it was time for prank #2. I took it upon myself to switch up pictures in her house. I flip flopped family pictures. I took pictures out of one room and switched them with pictures in another room. I took the painting in the front entry way and swapped it with the painting in the kitchen. The changes weren't too obvious but definitely enough to make you feel like the house was "off" or you were loosing your mind. The NEW entry way picture was smaller and appeared to be hanging too high. There were some markings on the wall the the other pictures covered and were now exposed. I wondered how long it would take.......
Since Mother's Day I have been anxiously waiting for Eric to get the call. The call from his Mother blaming him for this dirty prank. Last night, during the showing of
Star Wars - Episode VI - Return of the Jedi, Eric's Mom called. *SMILE*
Mom: "Eric. When was the last time you were at the house?"
Eric: "Um...why?"
Mom: "Just tell me when."
Eric: "I don't know....it's been a while."
Mom: giggle "Did you switch the pictures around in the house??"
Eric: smile "Mom, I DID
NOT SWITCH THE PICTURES AROUND IN THE HOUSE and there's someone here that would like to speak with you...."
Me: "Elaine.......I....." LAUGH OUT LOUD
Mom: "It was YOU! This whole time I was blaming Eric and it was YOU!"
Eric & Jess 2, Eric's Mom 0Somewhere in the conversation she reminded me that paybacks can really suck. I'm giving myself an A+ for my prank. I wonder if she'll retaliate?? I think next we're going to switch his Mom and Dad's underwear drawers. Any other subtle prank ideas?
63 WPM
Click
here to take a free typing test.
Star Wars - Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back 101
I think the geekdom is really sinking in. Last night, after we watched Star Wars - Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back, I had dreams about Star Wars. I was actually IN the movie. When I woke up and told Eric about it he said, "I'm so PROUD of you!". Ya know I'm kinda proud of me too.
While I'm loving these movies so far I'm not convinced that I'd ever be a Star Wars geek. Not even if I had started watching them when I was in elementary school. Here's the thing - I don't like to watch very many movies over and over and over again. The movies that I watch over and over again are Grease and A Walk To Remember. However, I think the story line in Star Wars is so intricate and detailed that it's making this first go around really interesting. (Ok ...yes I watched them when I was little, but I didn't really ABSORB them.) So I don't think I can technically be an Ubber Geek unless I watch them religiously, remember and repeat movie lines, and take the day off of work to see the first showing of the new movie. Ya know? But they are GOOD and I do have a new appreciation for them now. Most of all I'd say I'm really in to the storyline. It's like a space soap opera complete with your disfunctional family and lover spats.
Thoughts on: Star Wars - Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back
- Princess Leia had another cute "do" in this movie. Two actually. I like the wrap the braid around the head look. A very fem yet space warrior look. I can totally see what Han Solo can't resist her.
- How cute are Yoda's ears? Seriously. I want to kiss his scrunchy green face!
- Darth killed two people with his long distance choking routine. I experienced anxiety.
- Ok the big white snow animal that attacked Luke in the very beginning MADE ME SCREAM. In the "enhanced" version of the movie that Eric has you can actually see this creature eating a bloody body part and chunks of the meaty flesh were dangling, and later falling from, his big white hairy chin. GROSS!
- At first when Luke got his hand cut off I was appalled. A) Hello - how could you cut your kids hand off, Darth? B) Ok now what are you going to hold your glow stick with, Luke? C) I KNEW he shouldn't have gone against Yoda!!! D) Ouch. Once Luke was in the hands of Leia, and she so easily just attached another hand like she was replacing a light bulb, I kind of lost all my emotion about it. I mean if you can just go around getting body parts lopped off-- just to have them easily replaced the very next day -- what's the big worry?
Han Solo is hot but he's got cheating pig written all over his playa face.
Leia: "I love you."
Han Solo: "I know..."
P_U_N_K ... I'd have given him the bird.
- What O' WHAT is a "Nerf herder"? Anyone?
- Last but not least -- Han Solo wins the bravery prize in my opinion for stuffing his best friend in to the gut of a beast to keep him warm. That is so entirely gross and honorable that it's hard to conceive. Lizzy -- I'd stuff you inside of a Walrus if we were lost in the cold. I really would.
Lady
Here is a picture of Lady. Isn't she SO CUTE!
Beach House Weekend
I haven't been able to post pictures on here for a while but thanks to Cory Pinter, and Flickr.com that has all changed.
Here is a picture of my Mom, Grandfather, and I a few weekends ago at the beach house. Oh and that little cutie is Lady, Eric's dog.
Star Wars In My Life
I love my boyfriend. I really do. I love him so much that I have to accept the fact that he's an ubber Star Wars geek. He has been this geek for 30 years and in the 7 and a half years we've known each other I've been lucky enough to AVOID seeing the entire Star Wars movie collection. People, that time has ended. Commitment to Eric means commitment to
The Force. I am officially going through Star Wars Geek Training. It started last night when I snuggled down with my vodka tonic and watched
Star Wars - Episode IV - A New Hope. In the short span of 9 days I have to finish watching
all of the Star Wars movies. Being that I can watch them back-to-back, Eric and I are hoping I will gain a greater appreciation for the much loved space Epic.
Thoughts:
- Leia's hair is just too cute for me! That Cinnabon look is just outrageous.
- I'm naming my first son Luke.
- I totally had childhood flash backs of anxiety and fear when Darth Vadar choked that guy from across the room.
- I go to Fast Eddies with D&D on Fridays and I SWEAR that the people in the Fast Eddies on Richmond Highway look JUST LIKE those space people at the bar in this movie.
- If I was in outer space I'd not be dating Eric I'd be dating Chubaka. He's the cutest "walking carpet" that any space chick could get her hands on.
- For some reason I always thought Aniken, from the newer Star Wars movies, was Luke. I was wrong wrong wrong. Aniken is Luke's FATHER. It's ALL coming together now...
- C3PO -- if C3PO was human he'd be a "flammer". Ever noticed how he talks like a gay man?
- I realize now that as a child I had NO IDEA what I was watching nor did I have ANY concept of the complicated plots these movies hold. I guess I was just fascinated by the little creatures or something? The Rebels -- The Force -- none of this made sense to me as a child. None of it.
- I, Jessica Charmaine Vesely, am ever excited to watch the next one. What ever it's called...BRING IT ON. I think this intense training is starting to work.
- I bet my boyfriend has more Star Wars toys then your boyfriend.
May the Force be with you all.
Poopy-Loopies
Even though I was quite sad to admit that we weren't getting Zoe I do feel better about it now. I dwelled on Friday but then I put a lid on it and just moved past it. Partly because we had a sick doggy this weekend and I realized how much care it took for us to deal with it and I also came to terms with the fact that Eric is going to have a nice sized vet bill. Big bills that are unexpected are no fun. Our little pup Lady has the Poopy-Loopies. She was up every hour on Friday night crying and trotting around. She HAD to "go". Poor Lady had one accident in the house that night and then Saturday she was out every hour and had a few accidents. We bought a bunch of Puppy Pee Pads to lay down to limit the mess while we were out with our Mothers. She was very good and handled her Poopy-Loopies on the tidy little pee pads. To complicate things worse, since it was the Poopy-Loopies, and she's a long hair dog, every time she went out we had to hose her booty off. It was quite the weekend - let me tell ya! I feel bad for her but I feel REALLY bad for Eric. He has to bring a "sample" to the vet today......
No doggie for me....
After some more thought we've decided not to get Zoe. A few tears shed today over it but I WILL SURVIVE! I guess the timing is just wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. BEING A RESPONSIBLE ADULT THAT MAKES GOOD DECISIONS REALLY SUCKS SOME TIMES!!
I want a Gin & Tonic and a bubble bath.........
My New Dog...Maybe....
Eric and I have been randomly talking about getting another dog. It started with
Jess and her super cute Chiauhua, Vixen. I did some research though and learned that that breed of dog might not be good for our "family" at this time. Eric has a Border Collie who is the most divine dog on the planet. She is quiet, affectionate, well behaved, comes to a whistle, cuddly, and friendly with children and other dogs. Eric has said if he could clone her, he would. As a result we talked about the fact that if we ever got another dog it'd probably be another Border Collie.
So I went a lookin' yesterday on line and found
Zoe on this rescue site. I really think her personality is a MATCH to Eric's dog, Lady. Next Saturday we're going to drive down to meet Zoe and see if she will mesh with our "family".
We haven't quite worked out all the kinks yet. We still live in two separate homes, we're unmarried FOR NOW, and I have a cat. Maybe the timing is wrong
but the dog is so perfect (so far). Now I just need to figure out all the details and not fall in love with Zoe prematurely. Part of me wonders if I should just not go visit her at all if it's not a good idea to get her. Then again -- what if she really is the best dog on the planet, like Lady, and we pass her up?
Things I'll be looking for/thinking about:
- Is Zoe a barking dog?
- Does Zoe poop in the house?
- Are Zoe and Lady going to act like sisters and not like competitors?
- Will Jessica get her fat ass up and walk the dog in the morning?
- Will Zoe be MY DOG?
- Will Eric come around and want this dog too?
Doritos+Lindt+CSI+Fuzzy Fat Cat Face = Heaven
Last night I stayed at Holly's. I had Doritos and Lindt Chocolate Truffles for dinner. I swallowed my meal down with a bottle and a half of wine. All this while laying on the couch, watching CSI, and cuddling with fuzzy fat cat face. The evening ended with me (aparently stealing the covers from my pregnant friend) in a posturepedic heaven of a bed. Now I ask you, DOES IT GET BETTER THEN THAT?
BFF
Holly and I are BFF (Best Friends Forever). We're spending the night together because Holly's husband is going out of town. Maybe I'm giddy because I get to spend such quality one-on-one time with her tonight - or maybe she's really as funny as I think she is...but these back and forth emails almost made me fall off my yoga ball.
Me:
I just ate the lunch Eric packed for me. Left over wedding soup and rice, homemade cookie, and Diet Dr. Pepper.
Holly:
WTF is wedding soup? I just went down to the buffet and got a burger. Yummm beef.
Me:
Wedding soup is a traditional soup served at Italian weddings, duh!? We didn't have a traditional Italian wedding at the condo last night, nor are we Italian, but the soup was good.
Holly:
Did you make the soup? What's wedding about it? Knot-noodles?
Me:
I think the wedding part was the balls....it has meat balls in it.
Holly:
Meat ball soup? Sounds like runny spaghetti. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Me:
It's more of a cous cous (I know..)
[SIDE BAR: I am normally anti-cous-cous]with meat balls in chicken broth, runny cous cous balls, if you will.
Holly:
Cous cous jess? Cous cous? And runny cous cous at that?
Me:
Eric made me do it. Since he was violently cleaning I didn't want to remind him how I associate cous cous with maggots. They turned out good so I'm glad I'm so open minded. I guess I could have asked for him to puree it so it was more of a cous cous meat ball mush. [Side bar: Holly purees salsa so she can't feel the texture of the onions. I think it's a sin.]
Holly:
Wow, I don't know what's worse, maggots or cous cous meat ball mush.
Me:
I want chocolate....I love Sidney [Side bar:
Sidney is Holly's 18 lb cat who hates baths]. I can't wait to kiss his fat hairy face.
Holly:
The meeting in our conference room just let out and they put the leftover desserts on the hall table...my fingers are now sticky. Thank you for not saying you want to kiss my fat hairy face.I love my wedding ring(s). Really. Love. Them.
Me:
How about you shut up about those rings until I get one, eh? IT'S ONE THING TO BRAG ABOUT DIAMONDS HOLLY BUT TO THEN BRAG ABOUT DESSERTS DIRECTLY AFTER I STATED THAT I WANT CHOCOLATE IS UNCALLED FOR.
Holly:
Huh...I didn't put two and two together with the desserts/chocolate thing. Mainly I was concerned that I'll gunk up my keyboard. Basically it's all about me me me. On the you you you side of the house, I have all kinds of desserts at home: thin mints, chocolate chip cookies, ice cream, another kind of ice cream, pie, jello, oreos, and fuzzy fat cat face. All for you.
Ok now if you didn't laugh - that's fine. But just once, for me, say "fuzzy fat cat face". Every time I say it I laugh really loud. Did you?
May
It's May. Does that mean it's safe to wear white?
I got my new
Scunci brush in the mail yesterday. That didn't take 8-10 business days at all! I used one this morning and it worked marvelously. Eric is fixing the broken one so hopefully I'll have 3 new brushes. Maybe that's extreme?
The hair dryer stand - it's bye bye. I'm actually good at doing my own hair. I think I'm going to give it to my sister to sell at the Min Pin yard sale.
Speaking of the yard sale -- I purged last week. I went through all my closets and just gutted them. I trashed a bunch of stuff and I bagged up a bunch of good will items. Mostly fall/winter clothes that I didn't even wear this year. My next big move is going to be purging shoes. I have 10 pair of flip flops and I just need to let go.
List for the Min Pin Yard Sale:
Hair Dryer Stand
Lamps
Lamp Shades
Vases
Dishes
Unopened bathroom products (Bubble Bath, soap)
blankets
Curtains
My cat
Knick-Knacks
Shoes
Books
Stuffed Animals
Prom Dress
I'm almost done with my book
Lovely Bones so I can start the new one that
Jessica sent me.
Lovely Bones is a good book but very hard to read at first. It's about a little girl who gets raped and murdered and then tells her story from heaven. The rape and murder part is really hard to read. Especially because it's from her point of view. I kind of recommend the book although I feel a little sick for doing so.
PS. Just kidding about the cat...
