Huh.....

Star Wars Fan?

Go HERE and click on Scene Maker and/or Battle Name Configurator.

Sincerely,
Govenor Jesves Skythreadcount

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 12:50 PM 1 comments

Evil Yet Effective

Last night Eric and I went to D&Ds for Canoes (Beef Tenderloin stuffed with yummy goodness. I call them "canoes"). Dinner was SO GOOD. We had a few drinks and went back to his house around 9ish. I made sure that before we went to bed I expressed to Eric that he was on major wake-up duty. I had an early morning dentist appointment, and unlike Mr. Perky, I'm not a morning person. He took on the task of getting me up and lets just say he succeeded with an A+.

He started out like this: "Jeeeeesssssss, get uuuuuup." and then went to a more threatening "Jessica, you really have to get up your going to be late..." It didn't matter. I was still responding, face in the pillow, with a muffled "ughihgihghghgihgihgh". At this point Eric realized he had to resort to a more intense form of wake-up therapy. He looked me in the eye (the one that was peeking out from the comfy pillow) and cruelly turned up the volume up on the bedroom TV to MAXIMUM. That's right, the TV that I'd have to WALK TO in order to shut off or turn down. Then he took all the remotes (there are 3) and walked out of the room with them. As I was screaming over the TV about how unnecessary it was that he do this to me, he hits me with phase two of wake-up therapy. He brings in a Coca-Cola. I'm a coffee drinker at heart but when there is no coffee, and one needs to get up, BELIEVE ME Coca-Cola is right up there with crack in your cereal. It's a get up and get moving sort of beverage. So he brings it to the bedroom door, cracks the fizzy soda open (my ears perk up because now he's teasing me with the sugary caffeine) and instead of bringing it to me, he sets in down on the ground. AT THE BEDROOM DOOR. Where I'd have to WALK TO GET TO IT. He then smiles and leaves.

EVIL yet effective.

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 7:58 AM 2 comments

Com'ere Johnny.....

I know what you're thinking. I do. You're thinking --"SLUT!", "TRAMP!", "JUNKIE!", "GREEN EYE SHADOW GIRL!" but if you'd just let me explain why I look like I want to f'k your brains out in this picture, I'll tell you. First of all I do NOT want to fuck YOUR brains out. Sorry. Believe it or not (and Lizzy does not so feel free to call me a LIAR) this is a candid picture taken by my one and only, Eric.

You probably think I was saying, "Hey sexy thang. Drop that guitarrrrr and come ova here-smooch-me, bay-beeeeee", but I wasn't. That's really just me flopped out on the couch, exhausted from my Sunday photo shoot at the Sugar House Day Spa saying, "Eric, honey, will you pop in that 21 Jump Street DVD for me, PLEEEEAASSEEE?!"

See? No slut here. I will say this -- he mighta thought I looked a little hot when I laid down like that and that's why he took it. But I can't speak for him....

I'M NOT A GREEN EYE SHADOWED JUNKIE SLUT! I SWEAR! I'M NOT!

Is that a fat roll I see popping out of that shirt?

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 1:45 PM 0 comments

Hair Dryer Stand

Ya'lls... This is a pic of me using my new $20 hair dryer stand that I bought at the Made For TV store at the mall last Saturday. As you can see I look very intense. It's a grueling task, doing hair. I must confess though....I haven't used this "gotta have it" item since last Saturday. It lives at Eric's house and I do not...but I've kinda learned to do my hair on my own..I'm ashamed. Does this mean the hair dryer stand is going in the As Seen On TV grave yard with everyone else's Ab Roller, Thigh Master, Rowing Machine, and Foreman Grill? I'll keep you posted.

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 1:45 PM 0 comments

21 Jump Street

Many of you are aware of my obsession with Johnny Depp. It started somewhere around 1987, taking a mild break for Joey from NKOTB, and then restarted somewhere in my mid 20s. Johnny is my dream boat baby lovins that I am in so sweet on that I actually blush when looking at him on a magazine cover. I also check out lame fan websites just to get the latest on him, and to find out when he's doing his next TV interview. I have several magazines that I've collected with his fine face on the front just so I glare at him while on the pot or doing my toe nails. A few weekends ago I bought a Jack Sparrow bumper sticker (ooohhh..this is getting embarrassing now..) I have Johnny Depp magnets on my refrigerator. I have Johnny as my wall paper at work. Ok...that's it...ok I have ONE Johnny Depp t-shirt. That's it. Really.

The point is: My sweet ever lovin boyfriend (who is mutually in love with Carmen Electra -- which crosses out my mental affair with Johnny Depp - and is, in my opinion, fair and square) ordered the 21 Jump Street Season DVD's for me (us) to watch. God Bless Blockbuster! Praise Jesus for DVD's! Amen to 1987!! Even with HUGE hair and cheesy lines, he's hot. He's flirty, he's young, and he's kind of the "geek" of the 21 Jump Street crew, so he comes off smart, unlike some of his other odd characters. Now I personally think Johnny looks better the older he gets. Pirates of the Caribbean is by far his BEST LOOK in my opinion. However watching these 21 Jumpstreet shows is like a childish taste of heaven. I even like to sing the intro song before it starts. Yes, Eric thinks it's ridiculous that I do, but I do. (I even add a head bob dance to it....)

Anyway -- Just thought I'd share so that you, the reader, can ORDER NOW your 21 Jump Street Season DVD.

**Thank you to Min Pin Momma for alerting me about this DVD collection**

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 11:43 AM 5 comments

Good Customer Service Rocks

So I bought this round brush over the weekend to go with my new hair dryer stand. It's a round brush made by Scunci. Well I was PISSED on Monday when the damn thing broke. I paid $17 for it (I know...I know...that's a LOT for a stupid brush) and the handle popped off. It was wooden and it just came unattached from the brush "head", if you will. So today I wrote Scunci an e-mail:

I bought a Scunci Round brush from CVS this weekend and it's already broken. The handle was not attached properly to the brush and just came off. Being a round brush that you have to use to style your hair in a twisting motion, I feel it should have been attached better. The brush cost me nearly $17 . I do not still have the packaging so I cannot take it back to CVS. I think I should get a replacement brush (one that works better) or my money back.

The itemized description of the brush on the receipt is SC AML RD THR 38mm

Please advise. Jessica

In less then 5 minutes I got a response from them. Not only are they sending me a replacement brush but also a different size just to try for fun!

I will send you out a new one, please send me your name, address and phone # and I will send out the brush tomorrow, I will also send you a 34mm one if you'd like. They will go out tomorrow. You should receive your package in 8-12 days. Sincerely Scunci Customer Service

Sweet! THIS IS WHAT I CALL CUSTOMER SERVICE, PEOPLE! Those round brushes are hard enough to get the hang of without them breaking in half!

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 2:13 PM 1 comments

HAPPY ADMINISTRATIVE PROFESSIONALS DAY!

Today is Administrative Professionals Day! Being and Executive Assistant I fall under that category which means I get showered with gifts and "thank yous" all day long. Fun! One of my bosses gave me .....are you ready for this.....be prepared.....TICKETS TO SEE HUEY LEWIS & THE NEWS!! I know your thinking "What?!" because Huey is like so 80s BUT he is also known as one of the best acts to play at Wolf Trap. I heard the concert is bumpin' and you know you can sing along to most of his greatest hits. Don't lie. So I'm going to take my Heart of Rock and Roll and Power of Love to Wolf Trap on August 21st to dance my brains out!!

Here's a little Hip To Be Square for ya!

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 11:54 AM 4 comments

Bathroom Lit 101

Here I sit
Broken Hearted
Tried to Sh*t
But Only Farted.

~I remember seeing this on the bathroom stall when I was in elementary school. I remember thinking that it was genius! Today for some reason, in the bathroom, it came back to me. No, it's not because I had to sh*t and only farted, either. Maybe it's because I just found out that Stinky DOES still work in the building. She must have gone to her country for a month or something. I'm 2 seconds from taking this blue Sharpie to the bathroom and writing out the famous poem, but I shant....

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 2:52 PM 4 comments

Thai

I am CRAVING Thai food today for some reason. I can't figure out why. I am eating it for lunch and I'm going to dinner at Mai Thai with Holly tonight. Fun! My favorite is spicy Drunken Noodles and Tom Yum Soup. I'm excited about tonight because it's going to be my last meal. It's going to be my last meal until June 25th when I have to be in Keelee's wedding and fit in to a dress I got fitted for 2 months ago. Two months ago when I was like 15 pounds LIGHTER. Every morning when I do my hair (I can say that now) I have a chat with my cellulite. I politely tell it to "GO AWAY!" and "LEAVE ME ALONE!" and "HIDE!", but I have no luck. It never works. My after work activities have not been involving exercise and I know that's a problem. Maybe I should start taking the dog on lengthy walk/jogs or something. I'm just not a worker-outer, dude. I'm not. I've tried and I've failed, repeatedly. So .... bye bye food...hello brides maids dress that fits over my ever growing 27 year old ass!

**Do not try this at home**

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 12:17 PM 5 comments

Ouch

I stood up from my yoga ball to sort some paper work and when I sat back down the ball was gone.................. Ouch. =(

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 4:27 PM 3 comments

Do Update

Ok SO (!) I still love my hair. Let me start off by saying thank you to my sister and Jess for giving me GREAT hair suggestions. I am going to take Jess's advice and wash my hair at night before bed and then style in the morning. I also took my sisters advice and BOUGHT A HAIR DRYER STAND! Yes, I did. I went to the As Seen On TV Store at the mall on Saturday and bought the cheezy hair dryer stand we've all seen on one of those QVC stations. Girls - it works. It at least makes it easier. I can use two hands to maneuver the round brush.

Sunday was my photo shoot. It was SO FUN. It was basically me and a bunch of other "models" waiting around to get hair and make-up done. I felt so Jessica Simpson. My stylist put all this stage make-up on me. For some reason all the other girls got very conservative make up. Natural colors and whatnot. I got emerald green eye shadow and thick black mascara. I looked so cool. Kind of a mix between a Vegas Show Girl and a junkie. My hair was all salon styled with lots of shine and funk. I have pictures but I have to figure out how to upload. My stupid Hello hasn't been working. (Suggestions?)

This morning Eric told me he thought I was great. I said I he was pretty great too and that I especially liked it when his hair was all flat and smushed to his forehead like it is pre-gel. It was sarcasm at its best. I don't know why I even bothered. I had my hair separated in to three chunks being held up by "clippies" and sticking up in all directions. Eric's retort was "Oh yea...well I love it when your hair looks like it's been picked apart by a crow!" I nearly pee'd myself. Maybe you had to be there.....

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 10:45 AM 6 comments

My New Do

Yesterday I got a bug up my butt and decided to get my hair styled. I went to the same girl I used last time. She works in a pretty schnazzy's spa around here, Sugar House. She "loves" my hair which means I LOVE her. All went well. She asked me what I "want to do to my hair this time" and I said "I'd like to keep the length but maybe get a little more crazy with the layers, especially in the back. You know....for more bounce... "

I walk out feeling like a SUPER STAR. I swear to God I had Jennifer Aniston hair. It was bouncy, trendy, and blow dried to perfection. It was so good in fact I was asked to come back on Sunday for a photo shoot. The spa is doing a photo shoot of select clients to keep an updated "hair magazine" of cuts that have been done in their hair studio. (Yea...I said Hair Studio..eh hem...I'm so cool) So I bounce myself back to my office and the ego begins to inflate. Eric likes it. I like it. Holly hasn't seen it yet but she likes it - trust me - it's hot.

This morning I woke up and was paralyzed in fear. I was afraid to shower. I knew that the chances of me recreating this "do" were slim. I pep myself up, reminding myself lightly that I AM JENNIFER ANISTON JUNIOR(!), and hop in the shower. Wet hair happens. I take deep breaths. I get dressed. I unwrap the towel and begin to analyze what exactly I have to do to get it back the way it was yesterday. So I dry. Round brush. Dry. Round brush. Dry. Round brush. Huh...it's not lookin the same, people. (One "shit!" might have slipped out at this juncture) I then check the clock it's 7:50am and I still have to walk the dog.....dry. Round brush. Breath. It's semi rounded - and I have to go. Get dog on leash. Walk outside IN THE RAIN! RAIN!? I now have flat chunks of freshly cut hair. Some short, some long, none "round". I'm a Jennifer Aniston Boob.

Solution #1 Rent another set of arms so that I can get to the layers in the back
Solution #2 Rent a personal hair dresser to dry my hair every morning
Solution #3 Train Eric to use a round brush
Solution #4 Patiently let it grow out and admit defeat

I'm thinking it's gonna be 4.....If the round brush isn't hooked up to a power tool then Eric can't do it and #1 and #2 are going to be expensive. Ok well #1 might take some minor scientific assistance....

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 9:09 AM 9 comments

Give me the Care Bear

Tonight I baby-sat for two younger kids. This job was not as kick back as the teen sitting but I love these 2 girls SO MUCH. One is four going on 21 and the other one is 2 going on 5. There was a lot less catering to the baby-sitter and a lot more, "Maddy? Maddy. MADDY! Who's the boss right now? You or ME? That's right...Miss Jessica is....Maddy.....put down that Care Bear..don't tell me what to do...I'm 27 that means I'm older then you..Maddy...Maddy...Maddy........QUIT FIGHTING WITH YOUR SISTER AND GIVE ME THAT CARE BEAR!!!"

You know when you've finally tucked the kids in bed and your exhausted - your shirt is covered in pizza sauce that was smeared on from a kids cheek during a hug, side walk chalk has fucked up your manicure, and your hair is in a four year olds idea of an "up-do" (with pink glittery barrettes)- that you've had a good night.

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 9:51 PM 3 comments

Teen-Sitting

As I mentioned yesterday I'm teen-sitting until Thursday. They really only need me to spend the night, make sure said teens are not having premarital sex or smoking dope, and to see that they get out of the house on time for school. I was a little worried yesterday because having been a teen once myself, I know how miserable their lives are, and how much they want to lash out about it. My concerns were all put to ease once I, Mary Poppins Extrodinare, arrived to the teen home.

The teens are 13 and 17. They are the product of a single parent home which makes them pretty darn independent, I must say. The 17 year old girl is really the head of household. She made me feel unneeded, unwanted, and ultimately unnecessary. This uber-responsible "child" picked up dinner last night, woke me up for work on time, brought me coffee in the morning, and even carried up my luggage! What?! It was insane. Said boy-teen didn't do anything but sit in the basement and surf the internet. Easy! I love teen-sitting now but I sort of feel like I should give the $150.00 to the 17 year old uber-teen for all the hard work she's done.

This teen sitting has made me even more ready to have babies. I want to raise little teen slaves too. Just imagine what I could get my kids to do: paint my toe nails, cook breakfast, mow the lawn, wash my car, grocery shop, and sew me a whole wardrobe of fine clothing! SCORE!

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 12:29 AM 6 comments

Bulletin Board

This is basically going to be a bulletin board style post because a lot has happened recently.

CONGRATULATIONS (!) to Carrie & Charley who brought a new baby girl in to the world yesterday, a tad early. Good thing we had that baby shower on Saturday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my friend Kathryn. I can’t believe we’ve been friends since 8th grade. So much has changed since then -- namely -- the size of my ass.

I cannot stop thinking about beef noodle soup. Until last Friday I didn’t even know beef noodle soup existed. I was purely a chicken noodle girl. I bought 3 cans of beef noodle today. I really can’t get enough.

I have to bring this up because it’s getting difficult to post without you knowing this certain information about me. I swore I wasn’t going to blog about boyfriends or Jesus on this site anymore, but I have to take that back. My boyfriend. You need to know. We do everything together so it’s hard for me to NOT mention him. Ya know? ERIC. That’s his name. We’ve been best friends for 7 years and now we’re dating. We have stuff in common (which I’ve never had with anyone before) and I really think he’s great. He likes sleeping without a top sheet, green peas, playing guitar, Star Wars, Lady, his car, tidy homes, barbeque ribs, and me. We’ve been dating since January 28, 2005 and going strong. So…on that note….

Eric and I (this is how a lot of my sentences are going to start now…) went for a THREE-HOUR WALK on Sunday with his dog, Lady. We walked so much I got blisters on my big toes. I’ve never really had blisters so the expirience is both facinating and painful. I now have two bandaged toes and Eric still thinks I’m hot. He told me so yesterday.

Eric and I went to an auction on Saturday. We’re thinking about buying a camping trailer so we can spend weekends in Fredericksburg, Virginia with his brother’s family. We didn’t get a trailer, because they were more then we wanted to pay, but listening to that auctioneer ramble out all those numbers was kinda fun, up to a point. To the point when my hang over was reminding me that REALLY LOUD NOISES SUCK WHEN IT’S SATURDAY MORNING AND YOU HAD TOO MUCH FUN THE NIGHT BEFORE, and I got a headache. I’ll keep you posted on the trailer.

I’m baby-sitting for teenagers this week. Their Mom is out of town and I’m staying with them to ensure they do their homework, get up on time for school, refrain from premarital sex and smokeing pot. I’m slightly scared. This should be interesting.

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 11:34 AM 6 comments

ONE YEAR BLOG ANNIVERSARY!

For my first year blog anniversary (April 16, 2005)I decided it’d be cool to post what I consider to be my top 10 posts of the year. This is a list of posts that I either loved writing, got lots of response on, or show how much my life has changed in the last year.

I’d also like to thank the Academy (Cory Pinter) for introducing me to my new favorite hobby of blogging. Having this blog as a best friend has really changed my life. *Sniffle*sniffle*

Enjoy!

1. This is my first blog entry. I like this one because everything I wrote in it makes no sense now and thus makes me see how far I’ve come.


2. The Tom Jones concert. What a dirty old man.


3. The doughnut/muffin theory – (I’m all about the muffin’s now by the way)
http://jessiedc22.blogspot.com/2004/07/doughnutmuffin-theory.html

4. What my Mother said.

5. Why I should have listened to my mother


6. The Friend Pyramid. This one got lots of attention & freaked all my friends out!


7. Near Death by Cat


8. Story about Stinky (who no longer works here BTW)

9. Doing your best friend

10. My run in with the author Ms. Jessica Barksdale Inclan! It really made me feel "on the map" as far as blogging goes.

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 6:07 AM 3 comments

Note To Self

Note To Self: www.google.com ~ REALLY DOES WORK!

I've had an interesting day. I went home to take care of my outfit/nonshower situation and decided to check my personal e-mail (I can't check it from work). I was startled to find an e-mail addressed to me from the author of a book I read some time ago. A book I basically BASHED OPENLY on my site back in November. Read here to see what I wrote.

This was the e-mail I received from Ms. Jessica Barksdale Inclan:

Well, I happened upon your blog, and I was very sad to see what you thought about my second novel The Matter of Grace. However, I would very much like to send you my new novel--maybe you'll think I am a better conclusioner after all.

All I'll need is your address, and I'll send you Walking With My Daughter. It just came out last week.

Jessica

Jessica Inclan
www.jessicabarksdaleinclan.com

Are you shocked? I FUCKING AM! Hello? Did you, I, me, us, oh my God THINK it was possible that she'd run across my mean testimony about her book? NO. No, I did not. I won't take back what I said, because I still feel jipped on the ending of that book, but I will say that I am welcoming her new book, Walking With My Daughter, with open arms. I'm anticipating a great book that's gripping and even comes complete with an ending I approve of.

Even if I hate the new book I'll still like Jessica Barksdale Inclan. How brave of her to write me, her blogging book hater, who openly bashed her literary child on line? Not only that but she gave me the inside scoop on the real story behind the character in The Matter of Grace. I will now sleep peacefully. Lastly ...eh hem... she's very intelligent, with a very impressive bio, and I'm just a college flunk-ee who can't figure out where to put commas. Oh and of course the free book and the fact that her name is Jessica...always helps.

I'll keep you posted on the new book. She actually has 5 books. I didn't know that and now that Jessica and I are best friends -- I'll most likely be pool side this summer rating her other book endings.

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 3:18 PM 0 comments

It's finally Friday!!

It's finally Friday!! This is going to be a hectic weekend and I didn't exactly start it off with a bang. Or maybe I started it off with too much of a bang?

Last night I went to Deannie's for a burger and a few brewskies. I didn't really want to go, because I felt I needed a nap instead, but she had a bad day and NEEDED me to be there for her. Taxes are a bitch. So being the wonderful friend I am - I sacrificed my nap to have a few cocktails with my favorite friend.

After I left Deannie's I stopped by Eric's to say hi. Ya'll don't know who Eric is but I do and that's what's important. (Maybe in the next year I can give you more scoop on Eric. All in good time my pretties!) The point is that I fell asleep on the couch over at Eric's and woke up this morning at 6:30am. I THEN fell BACK ASLEEP and woke up 15 minutes before I was to pick up MY BOSS from the car dealership down the street. LOVELY. I am now sitting here on this yoga ball -- unshowered, wearing hideous clothes, no deoderant, and faking a "so fresh and so clean-clean" look. This is not the Friday morning of my dreams.

On my lunch hour I am going to go home, check my mail, take a freakin shower, and put on some clean, sensible clothing. THEN and only THEN will I feel like the Friday of my dreams is upon me. Ya know? After work is a cook out with Little Jen, my not so yoga yoga partner. (We still haven't started that stupid yoga class!)

Tomorrow I am going to Fredericksburg, VA to look at buying a trailer and camp site at a Camping Resort. Sounds fun, eh? It's a long story and I can't really get all in to it now but I might divulge more info about it later on. I don't want to jinx the situation...... Just cross your fingers for me, k?

AFTER the trailer/camp site shin-dig I am going to my first baby shower of the season. My little Carrie is having a baby girl in a few weeks and we're all gathering in her honor and to gawk at her belly. I will be gawking with pure jealousy since I too would like to be getting ready to give birth to the spawn of my knight in shining armor. All in good time I suppose. In the mean time I shall give gifts, and hugs, to those whom have knocked themselves up before me. Holly's shower is in June...

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 9:29 AM 3 comments

The Ball

The hardest part about sitting on a yoga ball all day is when I get up from my desk my "chair" just rolls away. A few minutes ago I kicked it to the fax machine on accident. I get all tangled up in it. There is definitely a lot more muscle use going on so I like it and highly recommend it! Some companies might find it a tad unprofessional but I work for a therapy company so we're all about it. It's a far cry from just sitting slumped over at my desk like before. And I kind of like to bounce on it -- although I feel somewhat....Perverted, childish, or embarrassed about bouncing up and down like that in the office. THAT might be the unprofessional part of it. Note to self: No bouncing on or kicking yoga ball.

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 11:55 AM 5 comments

Trying Something New

I've decided, at the suggestion of my boss, to sit on a yoga ball in my office instead of a desk chair. I have been experiencing back pains and I have a large ass. This yoga ball technique is supposed to strengthen and improve posture while stimulating the whole body. It builds inner balance. Your core. It is also supposed to be great for the thighs, butt, and abs if you bounce a little. So far so good. I feel A LITTLE silly but that will pass. I'm keeping my desk chair close by for days I have a skirt on. I'd hate to roll off the yoga ball one day and flash the office my hoo-ha.

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 1:33 PM 5 comments

Wasabi Peas

I am eating these Wasabi Peas from Trader Joes and they’re SO GOOD. They really clear up your sinues! They should advertise like this, “Say good bye to congestion caused by seasonal allergies with WASABI PEAS, by Trader Joes. They’re over the counter!” Excuse me I have to blow my nose….

Last night I had a date with my best friend, Holly. We walked to the store to get dinner, watched a good chick flick (Spanglish) and I got to feel the miracle of birth poking through her rib cage. Holly had a rambunctious bun in the oven last night and I had SO MUCH FUN feeling his teeny tiny kicks. I can’t wait for my baby to get here!!

God these Wasabi Peas are bumpin!

My cousin Elizabeth is getting married this fall in the San Fran area. I’m hoping I can attend so I get in some good family time. I also want to stop in and see Cory, Natlie, Courtney, Brianna, and other good friends from CA. Cross your fingers that my Dad either coughs up the frequent flier miles, in the name of a family wedding, or I suddenly come in to tons of money. I got my tax return back. It’s great to get a load of money. Not so great to have to give half of it away to your Mom because your stupid car cost $480 to fix last month! I could have used that money to secure a flight to San Fran this fall. Or pay for my ticket to Denver in June. Or buy my fat ass some capris that fit. Or go on a weekend get away. Or pay off my credit card. BUT NOOOOOOO…..I get half. HALF.

Lovin these peas….

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 9:38 AM 1 comments

Weekend

This weekend ROCKED! I don't really know why other then I soaked up some much needed sun rays and got to spend time with some of the people I love THE MOST. I also got to eat good food. I'm starving myself for the rest of the summer -- so I'm glad I got that out of the way. Ok -- not STARVING -- but I'm back to limited amounts of booze, and eating wheat bread, veggie burgers, water, and salad, salad, salad, and grilled chicken. No more JUNK FOOD. I put on a pair of capris the other day that I loved last summer and my butt barely zipped in. I hate that. I kept having to pull my pants down because they kept getting lodged in my saddle bags and causing the beginnings of camel-toe. Don't geek -- it can happen to anyone. I promptly took off the carpis when I got home and swore off all food from now until I put on the brides maids dress in June. If my fat ass does not fit in that dress come June -- I'll die of embarrassment.

I saw Hitch this weekend. I thought it was knee slappin hilarious. Aparently I am a classic case of a girl who likes "low brow humor". That is what a very good friend told me this weekend. Reason: I find Southpark and the Simpsons NOT SO FUNNY but I cried with laughter over the fat guy in Hitch dancing like a goof ball. Yes, and I also LOVE the Cosby Show. But THIS.....THIS makes me laugh harder then anything, and has for as long as I can remember. I used to watch it when I was five and I recently got to enjoy it again when I was flipping through channels. LOW BROW MY ASS...!

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 10:15 AM 3 comments

Great Inventions, Scientific WONDERS, or Life THINGS -- I love

1. Maxi Pads with Wings
2. E-mail
3. Potato Ricers (I hate you Liz!)
4. Visa Check Cards
5. Bagless Vacuum cleaners
6. Liquid Soap
7. Epidurals (That’s for you Holly)
8. Automatic cat feeders (don’t have one but wish I did)
9. Wine
10. Diet Pills
11. Tampons
12. Check Engine Lights
13. Convertibles
14. Eye brow waxing
15. Razor Back Bras
16. Blue Raspberry Flavored things
17. Romantic Comedies
18. Massage Therapists
19. Freedom of Religion (or no religion at all)
20. Cell phones
21. Digital Cameras
22. Galoshes
23. Hair Dryers
24. The term “poopie loopies”
25. Diflucan
26. Ebay
27. Walk-in Appointments

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 4:00 PM 5 comments

Huh....

Someone special in my life pointed me towards this site today. It both made me want to chuckle and shake my head in disbelief. Please, for the love of Peter Pan, if you are in to tight green outfits click here. The pictures are key -- so don't be shy and link away!

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 11:50 AM 4 comments

Bad Dreams

Last night I had this dream that I decided to repeat my Junior and Senior year of high school. For some reason when I have high school dreams it's always the same school which looks nothing like the 3 that I actually attended. In past dreams I can never find any of my classes. I'm wandering the hallways lost and feeling dumb. Last night I could actually find my way around the school which was great and made me feel like I was on the top of the world. It's also weird that my locker is always in the same place in these dreams. Freaky!?

So in my dream I was sitting in class panicking because I realized I needed to call in to work and tell them I'm in school and can't come in. But then I realized my boss was going to HATE that idea. So I was torn -school ...work...school...work... Against my teachers wishes I went in to the hall to call work and discovered my cell phone had no service. The teacher was flipping out because I just walked out and I tried to explain to the teacher what I was doing but he wasn't listening!! Somehow I got him to give me a hall pass, with the wrong student name on it, and headed to the office. The stress!!! I then look across the hallway in to the other classroom and this nasty girl is yelling at my sister. I run in the classroom, holding my hall pass and my non working cell phone and announce to this major cow that "I am 27 years old damn it! I'm here to get in and get out - THAT'S IT. I don't need you, this school, or the stress of you fucking with my sister. I CAN BUY BEER DAMN IT SO BACK OFF!!" and then I proceeded to punch her lights out. What does this all mean?

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 11:19 AM 2 comments

Spring Is Here

Well it's finally here. The weather has been sunny and in the 60's or 70's. The daffodils and tulips are out and saying hello along the roadways. I am wearing sun glasses, got my annual car wash yesterday, and personally grilled corn on the cobb last night out on the deck (ok -- condo balcony). I love love love this time of year. As hard as it is to get up one hour earlier that first work day after we turn the clocks back - it's well worth the agony to have the sun shining longer in the evenings. Ahhhh....now I just need to loose 10 pounds and get a tan.

So a coworker that was at the meeting last week in Baltimore called me yesterday to discuss a project I was working on for her. She then confessed that just days before the meeting she too was sick with the "poopie loopies". (Yes, that's right, "poopie loopies" -- it's a quote.) She felt better when she got to the meeting but her husband drove himself to the emergency room with a severe case of the "poopie loopies" just a few nights ago. I have a sneaking suspicion that her family is the cause of my bout with the "poopie loopies" last week. It's all good though because it's springtime.

Dinner tonight with an old friend that I haven't seen in so long. So long that I have her Christmas and birthday present to bring with me. Isn't that PATHETIC. I feel like a poop but what can you do?

Romantic weekend at the beach house is coming up. Mr. and Mrs. Curt Schwarz and I are going to the beach house on Saturday and Sunday. Hopefully the weather holds up and we can enjoy sipping coffee on the deck while gazing at the swans. Doesn't it just sound divine?

10 days until my one year Blog Anniversary. I can't believe I've been doing this for that long.

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 9:08 AM 1 comments

I'M BACK!

I keep having dreams about Natalie and Cory. I wonder why? Maybe it's because I feel guilty for being out of the blogging world for the last week and they are like my Blogger Fairy God Mothers, reminding me nightly that I'm behind?

Last week we had our 2005 Spring Training meeting which I put together. It was in Baltimore and took up more brain power then I initially realized. By the end of the meeting I was sick and tired. Literally. I stayed home Thursday and Friday to get healthy again and took full advantage of the term "nap time"!

Saturday I went to one of the best concerts OF MY LIFE! I saw Will Hoge in concert at the 9:30 Club and he blew away the head-line artist. The concert was so hot that I felt weak in the knees and kind of like I was cheating on my boyfriend. Ha! *blush*

I really want to see this show Intervention on A&E. I thought it was supposed to be on last night at 9pm but it wasn't. I feel jipped. Have you seen the previews?

Saturday during the day I went maternity shopping with Holly which was HILARIOUS. She's convinced she'll be giving birth to a small baby that will expand in to a healthy weight once it hits oxygen. She's barely showing at almost six months and swears she "won't be getting THAT big". Ha!

I must go. I have 80 million work emails to attend to since I was out all of last week. Sorry for the delay in posts and I promise to blog all week.

posted by Jessiedc28 @ 11:08 AM 5 comments