A Note from Stephanie
To my surprise I came to work and had an e-mail from Stephanie, my brothers girlfriend, in my inbox. Her e-mails have always been a little off the wall. She has a beautiful way of blurting out paragraphs of word art which are like brain candy for me. Sometimes I think she's just sick. You decide....
its Doris Rotting Tomato here calling for Chlamidia Lipshitz......what are you doing? bring me back my crouton or i will be forced to break into youur house, make a complex web using all of yuor dental floss and capture you for my stew. if you do not comply with my evil scheme i will scale the wall like a geko in the night using only toilet plungers and take every left shoe from your closet and replace it with an oversized jelly bean. so bring me my crouton and nobody gets hurt.
The Giraffe Letter Opener
Some time ago Holly and I were in the World Market browsing when we saw a Giraffe letter opener. I'm not sure if we thought it was cute or one of us just picked it up and started doing a stabbing motion and it struck us as funny. Regardless-- since then when one of us is annoyed or upset with the world we hand each other this imaginary Giraffe with which we *stab* people. Sounds violet, eh? Yes, well it is,
sort of. We aren't actually STABBING people. We didn't even buy the Giraffe - although I think we both agree we should have just for symbolic purposes. I have been PMS B*&^%ch since Sunday. I 'm stuck in that not so fun world of wanting to strangle each and every one of my friends, family members, and even most unsuspecting strangers for NO REASON AT ALL. Or in Holly/Jessica terms - I am stabbing everyone with the Giraffe. I feel terribly. No one is doing anything to me. Those people that I think are being inconsiderate or rude are probably always that way. Those that I think are being petty and obnoxious I would normally just let roll off my back. Even those that are just insistently nice I can't stand for some reason. I hate it. I apologize now to the world and I'd be happy to personally sew up your wound should I snag you with my Giraffe. Sorry......
Here is wedding #5 of 7 in 2004. It was a pleasure and an honor to witness Leslie & Chris's wedding. We've known each other for about 16 years and although she's 8 inches shorter then me people still think we're sisters. Leslie is half Chinese and have American while I am just plain ole' white American. When we were little people used to say we looked like sisters all the time. Yesterday we heard it over and over again and each time it made us giggle. We met at Sembach Air Force Base in Germany in 1989 and when Leslie moved back to the states all the kids were concerned as to why I didn't move with my sister. I guess they figured Leslie sold me to the Veselys'. In some ways we really are like sisters and without sounding too mushy - yesterday was a beautiful day to remember. Aside from the overwhelming feeling of wanting to puke from nerves, mixed with the feeling of being thankful for the vent at the church that was shooting up my overheated dress, I was also honored, proud, and elated!! I love you, Les & Chris! Woo-Hoo!!
The Friend Pyramid
A Powerpoint Org Chart might be a visual that is needed for this here blog. I have this little term I call the "friend pyramid". People move up or down the friend pyramid in your lifetime. That movement is based on several things. The short list of things it's based on is: trustworthiness, loyalty, history, love, & ability to have fun.
Basically you have your "best friend(s)" at the tippy top of the pyramid. These are your brides maids, room mates, confidants, and biggest secret holders whom you almost have an unconditional love for. They embody all of the above listed qualities. (This particular category can be
subcatagorized by a serious boyfriend, husband, or finace.)
Next down would be your "Good friend" row. These are people you'd probably tell
most of your secrets to, they're there for you, support you, honestly care about you and your life. Not too much is actually keeping them from the tippy top except maybe history and space. By space I mean that you really only have space at the tippy top for 2 "best friends" and a "sub". These "good friends" are most likely on your bridesmaids list though.
The 3rd row of this pyramid is your "friends" row. These are the super fun friends who you
can't always trust. They probably talk about you behind your back when they don't agree with your life decisions (or when you gain or loose weight) but all-n-all FUN to hang with. You accept them, they won't be brides maids, you may loose touch eventually -- but for now you're "friends" and you hang out fairly often. They really only take on the quality of being fun.
Last but not least you have your "acquaintance" row. These are that diluted group friends that include work friends, family friends, church friends, friends you see very rarely, cousins, friends of "friends", etc. They may not have any of the qualities above and if they do you don't care.
Now the key to this pyramid is "cleaning house". It is important to realize when it's time to graduate someone to a higher level (even if temporarily) or to crank someone down a few. Everyone goes through phases where they talk to their elementary school friends less in Jr high - or their high school friends are not the same friends they'll have in college. As adults we have this too. People get married, have kids, move away and become distant. You eventually meet new people that suit you better. Maybe you one day realize that your "good friends" are really jerks but they're fun to hang out with - crank em' down to "friends".
I so tried to make that not so long - but it didn't really work. Sorry!! I hope you enjoyed your lesson in Jess.
Last Friday the 17th I had my 27th birthday party & sleepover. It was my last ditch effort to cling to my youth. I had a turn out of 8 girls and only 3 ditched. Deannie and Holly were the first to arrive and did a lot to help me bring it all together. To my great surprise Mel brought a birthday cake. A very yummy birthday cake in the shape of a cross. Call me crazy but I think this could be themed after my love for Christian (GLCB). Thanks for the yummy cake, Mel!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! HAPPY 27TH ALMOST 30 YEARS OLD BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
So I had a blast in Vegas. We sat by the pool, had some cocktails, went shopping, danced, ate, went sight seeing, and tried on really large sunglasses. I'm sad now. Vegas was fun, I didn't want to leave, but most of all I wish I'd bought these glasses at the Mirage.
Ok so Deannie and Dean stayed at my house over the weekend while I was in Vegas. They are getting thier kitchen and bathroom redone and didn't have a pot to piss in. So as a "thank you" Deannie decided to paint my walls. I told her where the paint was in the closet and when I got home this is what it looked like. The blue under the breakfast bar (Behind Deannie in this picture) is CORRECT the spring green on the LARGER wall IS NOT). Deannie is pretty embarassed - I think it's HILARIOUS! That was supposed to go in the kitchen but I wasn't sure how it'd look next to the teal. Now I do! We'll be repainting that wall to the planned color - a pale teal - in the future. For now - I'm enjoying my Irish Spring dinning room.
GLCB
I just told GLCB, otherwise known as
BOYFRIEND a.k.a man of my dreams, about my blog. I got mixed reviews -- or revie
W. Huh....well....part of me was really nervous about giving him the freedom to page through my life, or past, with out my guidance. Part of me enjoys the freedom to say what I want without having to take in too much thought of hurting others feelings. In the end I fessed up about the blog not really to come clean but just to put it out there so that I didn't feel like i was talking
about him with out him knowing. Now I can talk about him, he knows it, and has the choice to read it.
Not really feeling any less nervous though........
Just made hair appointment for wedding #6 on the 25th. Leslie Jo approved of my S&M-like shoes and so I feel G_R_E_A_T about them. Now I just have to pick up the tailored dress on the 16th,
MY 27th BIRTHDAY, and I'm done! Oh and I have to get GLCB to get his butt up here to go to the wedding with me. Maybe the pretty dress, S&M shoes, and sexy updo will convince him?? Honey.....?
I'M LEAVING FOR VEGAS IN 17 HOURS!!! It's going to be a very fun trip. I finally get the digi cam I've been begging for tonight at my parents house so I can digitally document it all. In preparation - Deannie, Holly and I are going to get our toes done. I will be getting another flower on my big toe for this occasion and will post it OF COURSE for you to review. I'm so excited. My big dilemma now is - do I wear the Johnny Depp T-shirt on the plane or not? Airplane outfits are so important. They must be the perfect mix between comfort, temperature control, and fashion. (Don't question how fashion friendly my JD T-shirt is. TRUST ME - it's the bomb.)
Weddings...
I just got an invitation to my
7th wedding of the year. I think it's seven. After recounting 5 times I could never come up with the same number twice and each time I'd forget one couples name and add another. Lets see if I can do it by looking at the calendar: Monica & Dan, Sarah & Pat, Jenni & Scott, Natalia & Edson, Leslie & Chris, Trent & Julie and now I'm missing one again......SHOOT! Anyway - I feel as though I am destined to be a wedding attendee for ever. I'm not collapsing to the "always a brides maid never a bride" phrase - I just didn't know that my
mildly upper 20's (my birthday is in 8.5 days!) would have so many scheduled weddings! I heard it happened...but I refused to believe it and now I am caught in a wind storm of white wrapping paper, dress up clothes, fancy negligees, bridal shower games, and bachelorette parties. To be honest it's making me want to elope. (Leslie Jo - this blog has no barring on the wedding of yours that I am due to be your maid of
honor for, in 3 weeks. I am truly excited! The dress I get to wear is the most beautiful thing I've ever put on, and you're deeply loved, so
as usual you're excluded from my ranting. I am, however, contemplating going bare foot during the wedding.)
Wedding shoes
I've been looking for the perfect shoes for this wedding and I'm having a horrid time! It's on the 25th and I'm the only brides maid. I'm starting to panic. I was waiting until this weekend for the last chance Labor Day sale purchase - but still not 100% on what I got. I love the shoes, and they prices was A++ but are they ok for the dress? The bride is all of 5 foot 2 (if that) and I'm 5 foot 9. It's HARD to find not-so-heeled-heels that are under $60. Since I don't dress up for work I don't REALLY want to buy $60 shoes. Anyway - I got this pair that I think will work. The dress is supposed to be floor length so it shouldn't matter too much. I tried to find a pair of shoes just like the ones I got but with no frills. These have a minor frill. If this doesn't work I'm going to get flips with a tiny heel. I can't take the pressure. I'll post a pic of the shoe.
Here is the shoe. Clearly Dinah is not thrilled. She must think the zipper is too much.
The Finders Fee
So B&K, who not-so-introduced-introduced me to GLCB in NC at the Church, have decided that they want a "finders fee" for providing the hook up. (Well - not so much K but B mentioned he'd like one.) GLCB and I discussed it - and we think it's fair to give them a 40% "kick back" now and if it lasts - we'd greatfully follow up with the other 60%. I had the best weekend of my life. I
love a man that will pump my gas - and I meant that in the most innocent way!!! Sheesh - get your mind out of the gutter.
Hurricane
Leslie and Scott can't come up because of the hurricane. I hate hurricanes. I like Leslie and Scott and I'm sad now that they can't come up.
Holly made me drink a bottle of wine last night. It made my work out today HARD. I elliptical trainered today for 30 minutes and it felt like I was walking up hill in snow shoes with her on my back. Maybe it was that or the fact that I'm in love and GLCB kept me up chit chatting until 11:30. I had to get up at 5:15.
Mom came over yesterday to "putz" around the condo. She hung curtains, cleaned the bathroom, hemmed my new shower curtain, replaced my NEW bedspread. I like the one she got - although very non descript and borderline beige (My Moms favorite color) it's nice. It needs some spice. Maybe the fact that I never make my bed will be the spice. The new sheets are soft though. Did you know that if you don't have a matress pad you're BAD!? I think Moms question about why I didn't have a matress pad was "But sweetie - what if you have an accident." AN ACCIDENT like what? Like I pee the bed? Like I spill my water in bed? Like I trip over my dirty clothes, gash my head on the bedside table, and bleed to death on the sheets? Either way - is a cloth matress pad going to protect the matress from any of these liquids? She was also puzzled as to why I don't have rugs. You know.......little rectangles of thick material you scatter around your house. The ones that your cat ultimately pukes on. The ones that get sucked up in the vaccum cleaner or you spill tomato soup on when you're pulling it out of the microwave. WHY?! Why does one need these things?!
I had my carpets cleaned. I paid $50 for a super duper pooper soapier clean. What a crock of crap - you know as well as I did I just paid for someone to wet my floor and suck up the water. I just didn't want to do the work myself so this was more convenient.
