Can you believe it?
Welcome to my blog entry about
WEDDING #8! This one snuck up on me...but I am proud to
sort of REannounce (God I hope she doesn't think I'm stealing her thunder ..but she's way too introvert for me sometimes. Whatever -- I am
ESTP..hear me roar!) Holly and STC are finally getting hitched! It's a secret locale situation but they're having a reception upon their return for everyone (ok maybe not
you though...) to celebrate it with them. Her long distance best friend (her version of my Lizzy) and I are throwing Holly a bridal shower in just three weeks! Come December 18th we'll be sipping on Mai Thai's, wearing Lai's, coconut bras & listening to the tropical sound of men beating on congos (coming out of Moms kitchen stereo). Yes -- we're going Hawaiian tropical in Vienna, Virginia! Sounds fun, right? You wanna come ..doncha?
I am so thrilled for Holly & STC because I know without a doubt they both have found "the one", in each other. Holly is my best friend and that means I have
not been anxiously awaiting the day I had to give her up to a guy. However, in this case,
I don't have to! STC is so great he lets me be the third wheel when ever I want! Just for that I am going to do the old fashioned thing - teach her to be a good obedient wife! My research today told me that
early bridal showers were focused on strengthening the bride's friendship with her peers, offering moral support, and helping her plan for her marriage. I can totally do that...can't I...maybe?
Please leave me some good relationship advice I can pass on to Holly, in the comment section....please... I really only have one piece of advice and I think I stole it from a fortune cookie ......
The new black clogs were like little slabs of heaven wrapped around my feet today. I am so pleased with my shoe purchase (I am also pleased with the $25 Coup-off I used to buy it!). I am walking my new clogs over to the AMC Theater tonight to watch Sideways. Alone. Lizzy said it's Hill-air-E-us so I can't wait to see it. I'll keep you posted.
Last night I woke up at 2:30am and stayed awake until 5:30am. I have no idea why. I can't help thinking it's punishment for having so much sleep this holiday weekend. Since I was up I finished my book. (Reading normally puts me out like a shot of Nyquil -- but not last night) THis book had the
worst ending. I was worse then the worst...it had a
nonconclusion conclusion. I feel it's my duty to tell you the title and author of this nonconclusion conclusion book so you don't find yourself up at 4:45am desperately flipping to find more pages that might lay out WHERE this author HID my f'ing ENDING....eh hem...sorry...
The book was called
The Matter of Grace by Jessica Barksdale Inclan (don't be fooled in to thinking she a great conclusioner JUST because her name is "Jessica" either - NOT SO!!!). If are planning to read this book with no conclusion stop reading this blog entry now for I am going to tell you all about the nonconclusion conclusion. The character in the book, Grace, you're led to believe has cancer. She's great, wonderful, sweet, fit, has a little girl, and has cancer. (You're sucked in thinking bummer, shucks, but wait...) Then, halfway through the book, you find out she might actually be LYING about the cancer and actually has Anorexia and some major mental issues. Throughout the rest of the book her lover, her friends, and her family are trying to find out what is up with this chick. In the end Grace dies, is cremated, and no one ever finds out if she had cancer or anorexia with mental issues. What is even more appalling to me is that in the interview with the author, that I found in the back of the book, (I found this when I was desperately searching for my ending...) Ms. Barksdale Inclan states that she thinks this ending is great! A great depiction of reality. She says that sometimes things happen in life that way. (Your friends might lie about having cancer, but might have an eating disorder, and then die and you don't' find out EVER what happened to them.) WHAT????!!! NO wait...really.....WHAT??!! Who reads books for the slap in the face of reality?
NOT ME! NOT AT 4:45AM! What in God's name happened to Grace?
So I did it. I bought the new black leather clogs. I love them and they love me and that's really all there is to say.
Getting my Ass up
I love the holidays! I have done nothing but eat, sleep, drink, watch TV, read my book, and watch movies. Mom and I went to see Finding Neverland today starring....the HOTTEST MAN ALIVE....Johnny Depp. Most of my friends know that I'd like anything that Johnny Depp stars in but this movie had a very sweet message that went right along with our holiday weekend mood. We followed it up with a warm latte and now I'm going to try and decide between laying on the couch and reading...or laying on the couch and watching TV...or laying on the couch and watching another movie......decisions decisions....
Last night, after a few glasses of wine, I got my Dad to agree to financially support me in doing something I love. Horseback riding. I used to ride horse all the time, and even leased ("leased" is what military kids do when they want a horse but can't have one because they move too much) a few horses. I quit riding after high school. It was expensive activity and my social life didn't support it. I'm thinking now is a good time in my life to pick that back up. I need to get my ass up and do something. And when I say "get my ass up" I mean both building muscle to actually RAISE up my ass and also getting my ass off the couch (see paragraph one) in attmpt to be physically active in some sort of way.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING! In honor of Thanksgiving, and in attempt to promote safe feline bathing, I've decided to post a picture of the Fuzzy Turkey. This my friends is the Flesh Eating Furry Beast a.k.a Fuzzy Turkey. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
Holly And My Brown Clogs
Today Mom and I went to DSW Shoe Warehouse and I bought new pair of black boots to replace the ones I wrote a poem about a week or so ago. No more falling down the stairs for me! Phew!
While there I was also looking for
black leather clogs. See I bought these
brown leather clogs two years ago that I love and wear constantly. I need some
black ones to love just as much. I had no luck finding the perfect pair but Mom thought maybe I should get a newer pair of
brown clogs instead. (Mom likes to purge things that most find nice and warn in.) Without even thinking I said to Mom "No! Those clogs and Holly are the best things that have happened to me in the last three years!" Holly and my
brown clogs. I didn't even think about it before I said it. It just popped out -- so I know it's true.
Dear God....
WHY ARE PANTY HOSE SO FREAKIN ITCHY!? Today I am dressed up (yea...
denim skirt, panty hose, red streched out sweater, and cheap black boots that come up to my knees...dressy...NOT) for a company senior management meeting we're hosting in our office. The number one reason I'm glad I don't work in an office that requires business attire is PANTY HOSE. Throughout the day I have been secretly unzipping my knee-high boots behind my desk to reveal hot itchy calves. In order to hang on to my sanity I scratch
feverishly at them hoping I won't be discovered partaking in such an unladylike act. I'm ready to go home and peel these suckers off.
OFF I SAY!
On a brighter note I found a honey flavored Robitussin cough drop stuck to the inside left pocket of my puffy vest and a super-cool lighter I'd forgotten about in the right one. The fun of pulling out your cold weather gear can be so rewarding.
She said it was a cat...
...but really it was a psychotic, flesh eating, furry beast disguised as a cat the size of a turkey.......
Saturday morning Holly and STC (fiance extrodinair) wanted to give Sidney, their jumbo cat, a bath. Simple, yes?
NO! Sidney is an 18 pound cat. About the size of a Thanksgiving turkey....GET IT? A large turkey with hair... a.k.a. DEVIL MAMMAL.
It didn't' take long before it happened. The psychotic, flesh eating, furry beast bit the CRAP out of poor STC. The plan was to wrap Sidney's powerful body in a towel, put him in to the tub, when he then somehow twisted his chubby neck around 180 degrees and bit STC on the thumb. Sidney's venomous fangs bit through both the thumb knuckle and thumb nail causing sweet STC to be driven to the doctor to get a tetanus shot and antibiotics.
So what does Holly do? She calls me! ME! Me to come over and help her bathe the evil, flesh eating,venom infusing, furry beast. One man down one more to go... (As I write this she's pureeing salsa saying "He's really a
good boy -- he just doesn't like to get wet." Sick! Sick because you DO NOT puree salsa and Sidney, the fuzzy turkey, has a
little more then a mild distaste for water) I did what any insane, emotionally unstable, best friend would do. I went over to help out. I put my life on the line for her.
Holly wrapped the fuzzy turkey up in a towel. Holly bravely stepped in to the tub with the flesh eating beast, STC came for back up, and we began. Water on. Cat grunting. Holly in tub stabilizing feline head. Jessica rapidly rubbing soap in to beasts body. STC rinsing, rinsing, rinsing. Hearts are beating
THUMP THUMP THUMP! It was trying. It was an adrenaline pumping affair. Finally it was over and we were all, including the "cat", left there shaking. Our hearts pounding. Our clothes wet. WE SURVIVED!
ESTP
I'm ESTP. No, that's not a type of Alien!
Check it out
E = Extroverted (66.67%)
S=Sensing (67.57%)
T=Thinking (54.29%)
P=Perceiving (51.35%)
Nunya
- The whole story about how the Ostrich sticks his head in the sand to hide -- is all a crock of poo. Yesterday I learned that’s a myth. This virtually f’s up quite a few life metaphors I think are ingenious.
- I think I’m teetering between being an Episcopalian and an Agnostic.
- I was enlightened on a website that I read like it’s my new religion that you should never say anything about anyone on your website that you wouldn’t say to their face I whole-heartedly agree with this comment and have learned the hard way this is a good rule to live by. This is not to say, however, that you can’t say those things about them some place else.
- My little Carrie has a bun in the oven. It’s so exciting to watch a close friend go through the body changes of pregnancy. Last night she had a bugger of a head ache and was concerned about taking anything for it. She kept saying “I just feel so bad! I already had one (Tylenol) last week!” I didn’t really say anything about how NOT relevant I thought it was that she took a Tylenol an entire week ago if she had a headache NOW. I guess I knew that she was just being so super cautious in a way that I cannot understand yet for I have not been pregnant before. But it was SO CUTE! I am so excited about this little bambino! I hope she lays off the drugs for the whole 9 months.
- My easy listening station, 97.1, has officially switched to Holiday tunes. It was a torrid reminder that the JB is not ready for the Holidays.
- Extremophile is the word of the day any guesses as to it’s meaning?
- Lizzy bought me these pretty Gap underwear for my birthday. They’re cotton flowery thongs. I’ve only had them for two months, worn them once, and they’ve already got a hole. I think it’s a sign. I hope it’s just a sign that she bought me cheap underwear……..
- Come Undone is a gay movie. And when I say “gay” I don’t mean lame. I chose it off of Netflix somehow and didn’t realize until last night that it’s a foreign movie, with Subtitles, about French homosexuals. I love the gay man as much as the next guy – but I don’t enjoy European movies about them. Lots of nudity & fornication talk– FYI
- When you drink coffee all morning do you notice your pee smells like strong coffee? Or is that just me…….
CONDO FOR SALE
I've been having really weird, somewhat intense, dreams lately. I was thinking about some of them last night when I was up in bed eating a bag of Salt and Vinegar chips at 1:00am. Here's one for ya...
I had a dream the other night that a stranger knocked on my door wanting to buy my condo. I didn't even know my condo had gone up for sale but I let them in to see it anyway. All I could think about was if I sold it, I'd be making a fifty something thousand dollar profit on it, after owning it a little less then a year. Then as I started walking the stranger through the condo when I realized the place was a pig sty (is that spelled right? STY? ) As I looked around I became more and more frustrated because all the crap laying around belonged to my brother and his girlfriend. Piles and piles of crap that didn't even belong to me! I was almost in tears over the frustration of having their shit all over when this stranger started asking me about who my doctors were. Probing me on where their offices were located, when my appointments were, how to get in touch with them...on and on. I then realized she was only PRETENDING to want to buy my condo so she could get my precious doctor appointments. I guess the appointment times would "convey", as they say in Real Estate, with the sale of the condo. Panicked, I kicked the appointment stealing wench out on her arse. I felt ripped off! On top of everything else I realized that she hadn't even come with her REAL ESTATE AGENT!
Roses are red...
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Last week I fell
Because of my shoe
I bought a belt a Target yesterday. It was a plastic duplicate of a leather belt I drooled over at Express. Express belt ~ $22.00....Target belt ~ $12.99. I've had the Target brand belt on for 7 hours and it's already broken. Shoulda bought Express leather instead.
I am DYING to get in to a really good girlie book. Something equally as yummy as Summer Sisters. Any suggestions?
Watched this movie Evelyn last night. It's a Pierce Brosnan movie about an Irish family. It's based on a true story. Good girlie movie. Two NOT SO GOOD MOVIES are
In The Bedroom and
Lady Killers (Did I talk about Lady Killers already?).
Pretty are flowers
Stinky are toots
I really think
I'll buy some new boots
The state of Virginia requires all drivers to display two stickers on their windshield. You have to display both a current Virginia state inspection sticker and a county tax sticker. October is the month of the county tax sticker. Technically you're to have your new tax sticker up by October of the current year. Due to some unforeseeable complications I got my tax sticker a
little late. Not a big deal though because the state gives you until November 15th to get your unforeseeable issues taken care of before they start ticketing. Well as Le Procrastinator Extraordinaire I waited until this morning to start picking away at the old sticker. (Note: November 15th was yesterday.)
Tearing away at this sticker was like trying to rip the label off of a Windex bottle. Not entirely successful. You can't exactly soak the inside of your windshield with warm soapy water either. So I picked and picked
and picked at this sticker until a
frustrating soft & fuzzy paper layer of sticker was remaining.
Running short of time I decided to say "Screw it!" and just put the new sticker beside the soft & fuzzy paper layer of the deceased sticker. I just needed to get to work with out getting a ticket. I made a pact with myself to use a razor blade later & scrape the residue of the deceased sticker off my windshield. (Yea right.) As I pulled out the shiny new 2005 county tax sticker I noticed it looked an awful lot like the untouched, unpicked,
still intact 2nd sticker on my windshield. F-k(!) I'd spent the the last 15 minutes picking off THE WRONG STICKER!
Off to
Johnny's shop I went to pay for my 2nd State Inspection in 6 months. Luckily I got there without getting a ticket. A ticket because now not only did I not have the current tax sticker displayed I also did not have a state inspection sticker. I had a soft & fuzzy paper rectangle instead.
There's no wonder why "needs to pay more attention to detail" comes up EVERY year on my review.
I feel better today by the way. :-)
3:45pm
Just call me Grizzly Bear. I am both bear in mood and in sleep habits. I calculated that in the last 40 hours, I've slept for 22 hours and 45 minutes. I've also decided this morning, when I couldn't get out of bed, that I should look up PMS symptoms to see if hibernation was one of them.
WebMD refers to "not getting up" as, "sleep pattern changes" and "fatigue or lack of energy". I'm calling it Premenstrual Hibernation = PMH
After further research, it turns out on top of PMH, I have most all of the symptoms of PMS. All symptoms
WebMD has politely listed in three different categories: Physical Symptoms, Emotional Symptoms, and Behavioral Symptoms. There are 9 Physical Symptoms - I have 8 of them. There are 4 Emotional Sypmtoms - I have 3 of those. There are 4 behavioral Symptoms - I have
all freakin 4 of these ones. Oh, and mirroring my calculations, is a snippet about how PMS can start up to TWO WEEKS before your period. This means I'll be Grizzly next week too. Oh-the-horror.
I am looking forward to dinner, bed time, sweat pants, and darkness, all night long. Crawling UNDER my bed to hide from the world has sounded great all day! My Mom said it's important for me to write these dates down so that I have a picture of what my emotional state will be month to month. Apparently, it can help aide in deciphering legitimate anger, and anger fueled by hormones. That way, when I am tempted to: murder people, quit my job, poop talk my friends, start fists fights, and skin my cat - I know when to "reach back" in the name of PMS.
9:30pm
I had Dinner with my friend Leslie tonight (she's a nurse). She suggested writing down my hormone "tude" patterns as well, in case I need to be medicated. I think this is wise.
WebMD said medication may be needed if my mood swings start affecting my relationships and day to day life. If I'm as grizzly as I was this weekend, for two weeks out of every month, I'm in need of medication. And lots more ginger snaps....
Jeanette suggests herbs...I think I'll try this suggestion in combo with PMS patternizing.
Going to bed now & praying for a bright and sunny day tomorrow.....
11 Reasons I know I'm PMSing
How was my weekend?
11 Reasons I Know I'm PMSing:
- Cried to Country Music Television this afternoon in my bathrobe
- Wiped crumbs of ginger snaps off my face after a 4 hour mid-day nap
- Slept in my clothes for 2 days
- Screamed at my boyfriend for having involuntary cat allergies
- Sore...I said SORE breasts. (Don't touch me!)
- aforementioned zit on left cheek
- New -EVEN BIGGER zit on right jaw line
- "If you can't say anything nice -- don't say anything at all" TOTALLY applies TO ME
- I want a f-ing cigarette
- The ginger snaps, mentioned in reason #2, are stuffed in my purse in a zip lock
- I hate self-help books
Administrative Boo-Boo
Oh I'm so relieved it's Friday!! Aren't you?
GLCB has arrived! Barely. Last night his flight was to take off at 5:10pm. Yea, problem is that it was taking off from the WRONG AIRPORT! When I made his reservations online I mistakenly reversed the flight plan. They had him leaving DC at 5:10pm going to NC. Not the other way around. Woops! To fix my Admin blunder GLCB had to exchange his round trip ticket for a one way to DC & pay $40 change fee. Um..yea but then we were left to buy him another $140 ticket back home!!! When all was said and done we'd have paid $103.70 for the original ticket + $40 change fee + $140 for the ticket home. Practically THREE TIMES the amount of the original round trip ticket!!
All I have to say is Thank
God for mothers. Mom talked me down from my heightened state of "KILL KILL KILL!", and while GLCB was flying overhead, I was on hold with Independence Air. Thankfully the FlyI customer service department completely took pity on me and gave him a free ticket home stating "Everyone makes mistakes". So here I was ready to fire at the unsuspecting FlyI agent with statements like "I'll
NEVER fly independence again!" or "Why the
HELL didn't you just fix it in the
FIRST PLACE when he arrived at the wrong airport? Don't you have a
DAMN HEART!" or maybe even "
I HATE YOU!!!" but alas I held back. Although I lost sight there for a minute I now know what's important. He's here, we're only $40 in the hole, and I didn't have to use my super human PMS powers to reach through the phone and strangle that FlyI agent.
1 hour and 34 minutes until my get away to the beach house. I need it.
Generic Brand No-No
Note: Do Not buy Target brand ladies shaving cream in the raspberry scent.
This morning I was in my shower (super clean shower) shaving my legs in boyfriend preparation when I realized I'd made a bad purchase. Exitedly I grabbed my new Target brand ladies shaving cream and began to apply when this fruity hell-scent hit me. It smelled like the fluoride goo the dentist puts in your mouth when you get your teeth cleaned. It brought back horrific memories of being a kid sitting in the dentist chair with a mouth piece filled with fake berry tasting fluoride goo. The goo that would slowly ooze out of the back of the mouth piece in an attempt to gag and choke me. They don't use that stuff any more...but one never forgets.
I am also getting my 'I'm seeing my boyfriendfor the first time in 2 and a half weeks' zit. Yes, on my left cheek. It's tiny and I'm not going to say much more about it in fear that it will grow in anger if I talk smack. Zits can be testy.
25 hours until I leave for my weekend getaway, the beach house, with aforementioned boyfriend. Yipee!
The JB
First of all my condo is so clean that when I wake up in the morning I am confused and don't know where I am. I was smiling in the shower today from sheer pride in my clean bathroom. I never clean! This is great! I hope I can keep it up.
My head has been in the clouds for the last 3 months of my life. I've been sitting here drooling with love all while my personal finances were being neglected. Luckily my wreckless spending during that time was pretty minimal. The reduced number of bar tabs and cigs has helped too I hope. On the downside I attended 7 weddings (some out of state), 3 bachelorette parties (some out of state), 3 bridal showers, and had/have 6 or more birthdays in October and November to buy gifts for. And one $400 car repair.
To my delight Holly is hooking me up with the JB (JB = Jess Budget). I just spent 3 hours going over paperwork, filing, creating tables with dollar amounts and dates. It's frightening. All worth it though because the excel spreadsheet this girl can create is a master money organizing machine!
10 JB Positives:
- I'll probably loose 10 pounds from not having enough $$$ for food
- I'll have a clearer vision of where my $$$ is actually going
- I'll Pay off car and drive first paid off vehicle in my life
- I'll Pay off credit card (again) to move on with more long term investments....like new leather boots....no... no.. Just kidding.
- I'll have less stress since JB calculates all incoming and outgoing $$$ so all I have to do is write the check.
- Save more $$$
- I'll be able to buy the leather boots next winter and not feel guilty about it
- More $$ for visiting GLCB
- More $$$ in case something in my home breaks
- $$$ to use towards recarpeting my condo next year
JB going in to effect (or affect?) starting ASAP. Sorry no presents for you for Christmas.
Discoveries
I feel like something I'm wearing smells like cat pee. My clothes are clean as far as I know. It's quite possible that one of the items I'm wearing was balled up on the floor for some time and my cat tinkled on it with out me knowing. Trouble is -- when I contort my body in to positions that Cirque De Soleil would be impressed with, in an attempt to smell every inch of my outfit, I can't find the source. This is most discouraging.
Did you know that the CVS brand mouth wash and Listerine have THE SAME ingredients? If you look at the back label on both, they have the list of ingredients. Not only do they have the list but for some reason on mouth wash labels they write the fluid amount of each tooth decay fighting agent within the bottle. I learned the CVS brand has no less ingredients and no more ingredients -- THE SAME. And the CVS brand is half the price. After discovering what I now consider a gold mine I went through the store to look at other CVS brand items. To my amazement they sell several Brand Name-alikes at CVS. They are even in the same shape bottles as The Brand Names. Another example is shampoo. I usually buy Herbal Essence Shampoo -- there is a certain CVS brand that is marketed to LOOK like Herbal Essence & it sure enough has the same ingredients. Don't be fooled people. We're paying for the little flowers on the Herbal Essence Bottle. I challenge you to read your labels a little closer! I don't need no stinkin' flowers - I need clean hair & fresh breath for a good price!
Life's little mysteries
Today I feel thin. It's a "thin day". A far cry from round belly Jess that was bloggin on Friday night. Huh....
Medieval Times
Tomorrow isn't here yet but I had the urge to blog. I am going to Medieval Times in Baltimore for a friends birthday tomorrow night.
Midieval is a tricky word to spell. I'm sitting in a room full of 4 adults, all with pretty decent educations, and I was relieved to know that I wasn't the only one that did NOT know how it was spelled. Phew! Anyway -- I am sort of curious about this whole Jousting event. Should be pretty cheesy/fun. We're going to celebrate my friends 25th birthday. Watching her get knighted at a restaurant where people ride horses and jab each other with extremely large poles while riding at high speeds on a horse is ...ehhh....different for a Saturday night...but altogether worth it I guess. I hope I can take pictures so that I can share.
Tonight I went to dinner with Holly & her stud-muffin Curt. I had lots of sushi. My tummy feels round and full. GROSS! Nothing like a chick in a tutleneck & tight jeans with a round full belly!
GOT MY OFFICIAL REVIEW TODAY. The pre-bad-review-review turned out not so bad afterall. I got my review, all is good, & I got my raise! Ya hoo! The boss decided not to post my "warnings" so that it didn't become an issues later on. That was nice. I did have to promise her my first born son though.
Dr. Lova
I've been reading a lot of relationship self-help books lately. NOT because my relationship is in need of help. PLEASE! I'm in love! I'm so in love sometimes I could barf. I started reading these books because they have some pretty basic guidelines on the "give and takes" of good relationships. Most of these books usually discuss good communication skills and recommend some ways to get to know your partner better. A couple of them are recommended to engaged couples before the take the plunge. My question is, why wait?! If you're looking in to how to have good communication skills, or how to get to know each other better during your engagement, aren't you running a tad behind?! I want to know what my boyfriend thinks the color of our bedroom walls should look like 10 years from now! Just kidding... I wouldn't mind feeling fairly confidet that I have the skills it takes to have a healthy relationship PRIOR to engagement though.
Now have no fear. I do not believe EVERY word on EVERY page of these books. I am fully aware of the fact that one book cannot relate to
every person and
every relationship. To me these books are more of a "food for thought" type of resource. I promise I'm not looking for a "How To" book on relationships. That being said, many of you know that my past relationships were so WACK, embarrassingly so, that I am definitely leaning toward preventative maintenance at this time. I'd rather ask the questions now. Now! Before I quit my job, move away, get engaged, married & have babies.
I have no intentions of spending the rest of my life, or even several years, with someone that I'm not meant to be with. I believe that all too often people are in relationships with people they do love, and feel highly loyal towards, but they don't necessarily have what it takes to stay together forever. Or worse - they
think they're in love with someone and they're really not. Hasen't
this happened to everyone at least once? Instead of recognizing that they really aren't going to be happy together, some couples strap themselves into this speeding train, bound for a life of hell, when they could have saved themselves a lot of time and anguish by considering a few fairly basic questions from the beginning.
Sound harsh? Probably so. It's not really intended to be, but you can't "fluff- up" issues that could quite possibly determine THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Lets face it people -- the person you're in love with today just might not resemble the person you married 10 years from now. Your loved one might gain 300 lbs, convert to Buddhism, want to move you to Tim-Buck-Two or take up smoking crack and you are bound by sacred wedding vows to love them anyway.
I think some of the ideas and questions shared in most of these books bring you past the fantasy and fairytale of the "foo-foo" wedding, big rings, and picture perfect life you might have been painting since you were a little girl. They ask you to step in to a scary realm of reality. What does life look like on the other side of your wedding day?
Here's a brief overview of the books I've been reading or paging through:.
His Needs, Her Needs - This book was a tad old fashioned in some of its chapters. It was written in the 80s. The idea that a man goes out to work each morning, brings home enough money to support himself, a wife, and a few kids, is just not realistic in many cases today. Just because you add "husband" to your list of lifes titles doesn't mean that you also walk away from your wedding with an extra wad of cash to take care of an entire family. His Needs Her Needs did have some good insights on hidden needs your partner might have that you probably over looked. It also has some fun questions at the end of each chapter. BRAIN FOOD!.
The Five Languages of Love - This is one of those books that is recommended to engaged couples during premarital counseling. In fact I got it from my sister, who got it from the Reverend, who performed her wedding ceremony. I haven't read much of it but I've check out the overview and have heard about it's teachings before. It talks about the idea that each person has a "love language" (there are five of them). It teaches about how you should recognize each others "love languages" and then try to meet those needs for each other. It's a cool concept. I like this one.
The Hard Questions - This one is my favorite! I got it a few nights at Barnes and Noble after a recommendation from an engaged couple. The introduction rocks and sucked me in right away. There are 100 questions to discuss with your loved one before you tie the knot, or get engaged. It gets down to the raw nitty-gritty & forces you to get honest about what you're looking for in a life partner (boyfriend, fiance, lover, whatever).
Devotions for Dating Couples - This book I got at the Christian bookstore. It's a workbook style discussion book designed to figure out where God fits in your life. Personally, but also as a couple. I wasn't really "down" with getting this book, to be honest. I really, really find the topic of God and religion uncomfortable. ESPECIALLY when discussing it with someone I know might have a different view. Probably because I don't feel as "schooled" in it as I should. However, religion could be a huge part of your loved ones life and therefore it's important to understand every aspect of where God fits in with your relationship. For the people that know me you're probably shocked that I'm even reading it, but we are talking about FOREVER here. If nothing else this book has taught me just because a topic might force you to come out of your "comfort zone" doesn't mean it shouldn't be discussed with your significant other. I'm not so sure that personal "comfort zones" have too much room in life-long commitments. So bring it on! I want to talk about it! I now welcome the chance to hear what my man's thoughts are on God, discuss or question his beliefs, and try to figure out how/if we can live with our differences..
Until Death Do Us Part (couldn't find link)- I just got this book from a family friend. I wanted a book that talks about the Catholic views on dating. Not really VIEWS on dating but more of a "how to be a Catholic and date" book. I just got it yesterday as a gift so I haven't gotten too far. It's funny. Catholics aren't the most up to date in marketing. The people on the front of this book were surely dancing to Wham at their wedding reception. And the fact that it's written by priests might be why it's more of a biblical stand point on what the Catholic Church teaches about the sacrament of marriage and not so much on the "give and take" of relationships. Their version of communication skills is "pray!". It's written by priests, who have never married, so their input on any other type of communication is little to none. Being a Catholic I wanted to know all the stuff I wasn't sure on like: Can Catholics marry non Catholics without burning in hell? The answer is yes by the way. So I like this book too but it's more of a biblical resource. You can hunt and peck to find the stuff you need.
My goal is that if/when I'm standing up at the alter, in a white dress getting married, I am without a doubt positive that guy I'm standing next to is the one that I want to be with for THE REST OF MY LIFE! Even if he does turn in to a 300 lb. Buddhist crack- head in ten years! Just call me Dr. Lova.
Self Help Books
I just wrote this long ass blog that literally took me hours to write and when I went to post it - it disappeared. And it was a good one. I am so pissed. SO PISSED! I'll be REwriting it in Word and pasting.
Almost arrested at the voting poll
Today I was almost arrested at the voting poll. Can you believe it? Ok well I was
threatened with arrest -- but same dif! 8ish a.m. this morning I rolled up to the high school gym I was sent to vote in. I waited in line #1 for about 20 minutes and then was taken aside with the other P through Z's to get the instruction on how to use the voting machines. Once that tid bit was over, we were directed to go stand in line #2 to get check off the list of P through Z names. I was successfully checked off and tossed in to line #3 to wait for my access code so I could get vote for President! Well it was quite a wait before I noticed these wonderful American poll volunteers were having technical difficulties with the voting machines. No one was currently voting at any of the machines, the line was getting longer, more and more confused looking volunteers were crowding around the access code table.. plugging and unplugging things. I decided it would be a good time to return the call from my office I'd received just earlier while I wait. Suddenly, a Diana Ross look alike storms over to me, points, and yells, "
Hey! Do you want me to call the police? Huh??
Do you want to be arrested today?!" Make no mistake
little "Diana" had a huge voice that rumbled thunderously with the help of gymnasium acoustics. I politely responded with a confused and frightened, "
No Ma'am." She then moved on to unsuspecting victim number two, also standing in line #3, pointed and said to her, "Do
you want me to call the police?!" Victim #2 replied by admitting that she did not know that cell phone use was restricted to which "Diana" pointed out that a sign
is posted. It was posted on an 8"X11" piece of copy paper at the very tippy top of the 10 foot door frame at the gymnasium entrance. It was also posted on similar copy paper at one of the 7 tables in the gym. You know -- the one with a variety of pamphlets that we were hurried past when instructed to stand in line #2. If I wasn't on the verge of peeing my pants from fear I'd have suggested to little "Diana" that they:
- Move the sign to a more visible location(s)
- Put the restricted cell phone message on a larger, or poster board, sized sign
- Mention it during the lesson on how to vote
- Try to practice a bit more patience with fellow Americans trying to peacefully exercise their right to vote.
Lastly: I feel badly for "Diana". See it was only 8:44am on the biggest voting day in 4 years and I'm a white English speaking American. I am a minority in my neighborhood. I simply didn't see the sign and I'm quite certain many of my neighbors couldn't even understand what language it was written in. I think Diana had a long day. I wonder how many excited new voters she actually had arrested?
